DIGITAL WEDDINGS, OR WHAT I CALL MALVIKA SYNDROME

Wedding hashtags derived from the names of the couple getting married are the in-thing these days. In the recent past, almost every wedding I have attended has had a hashtag attached to it on Facebook.
And this is how they work. If I were to marry a woman called Mala, then the wedding hashtag could possibly be queeniewedding, where Mal comes from Mala, Vi from Vivek and Ka from Kaul. Or it could also be #VimalKiShaadi, where Vi comes from Vivek and Mal from Mala. Yes, I know it sounds very corny, but I hope you get the drift, dear reader.
And what use do these hashtags do? People attending the wedding can share the photographs they click at the wedding on Facebook by using this hashtag. If they want to write something about their experience at the wedding, they can use the hashtag as well.
How does this help? Anyone who wants to check out all the photos of the wedding, just needs to click on this hashtag and can get to see all the photographs clicked by different people at one place. It is a sort of a meta-album of the wedding.
And if the couple has the kind of friends who are also in the habit of making Facebook posts, you can also get to read stuff about how beautiful the bride looked in her saree or lehanga, and the groom in his bandhgalla, how great the food and the music was, how beautiful the women looked in their sarees, and so on.
The interesting thing is that the wedding hashtag is essentially another extension of digital photography. If photographs hadn't gone digital, there is no way it would work. In fact, digital photography almost did not take off. As Mark Johnson writes in Seizing the White Space - Business Model Innovation for Growth and Renewal, "In 1975, Kodak engineer, Steve Sasson invented the first camera, which captured low-resolution black-and-white images and transferred them to a TV. Perhaps fatally, he dubbed it "filmless photography" when he demonstrated the device for various leaders at the company."
Sasson was told "that's cute - but don't tell anyone about it." The reason for this was very straightforward. Kodak at that point of time was the largest producer of photo film in the world. And there was no way it was letting filmless photography destroy that market.
Nevertheless, over the years other companies like Cannon got into digital photography and the market went from strength to strength. Now we have reached a stage where almost no one uses the photo film, except possibly a few enthusiasts.
One impact of photos going digital has been that almost everyone has turned into a photographer. You don't need a fancy camera to click photographs. A smartphone with a camera would do just fine. Digital photography has made photography democratic and inexpensive. Also, unlike earlier when only a limited number of photographs could be taken, there are no such limitations anymore.
But this has also meant that with a surfeit of photos coming along, they are not as precious as they used to be. This is a point that crime fiction writer Peter May writes about in his new thriller Coffin Road. As he writes: "Shooting on film had meant that there were fewer photographs taken, which had made them more precious, and it was nice to have an album to sit and flick through. Pictures you could touch, almost as if touching the people themselves, a divine connection with a happier past."
Yes, a digital album somehow does not have the same touch and feel of a physical album, which one could turn page by page. Further, digital pictures tend to get lost as well, as we change smartphones, personal computers, tablets and laptops. Devices crash. Backups are not always taken.

The larger point being that change is not always for better. Does that mean we should go back to film photography? Of course not.

NUVO's nontraditional wedding guide

It's January. The first snow of the season has fallen, the temperatures have dropped, and wedding planning season has commenced.
According to The Knot's annual Real Weddings Study, in 2014 the average cost of a wedding was $31,213. It's an all-time high, up 4.5 percent from the previous year, making it the fourth consecutive year for the fiscal increase.
It's not only one of the most expensive industries in the United States today, but also one of the most stressful. And for many couples, January is the wedding planning month.
Kick the stale white wedding to the curb in favor of one that compliments your unique love. Here's how.
After determining what season you're getting married in, plan the crafts around that season. Pinterest has millions of boards for each wedding season.
Barns are the best place to achieve that rustic wedding look. Check out the Mustard Seed Gardens in Noblesville for a classy, yet rustic location for your wedding.
If you're getting married in the winter but don't want to force your guests to freeze in a barn, consider looking into a wintery cottage.
When I think of rustic barns, I automatically picture the rustic cottage from the 1954 film White Christmas. It's just always been stuck in my mind as the perfect place to spend winter.
But let's be real — the backdrops were all blatantly fake and the snow was a flame-retardant concoction of Hollywood. So, how do you achieve the rustic effect but in a "real" environment? You keep your guests dry, keep a fire blazing and an open bar.
Goodwill is the perfect place to find not only cheap tacky knick-knacks, but also unique trinkets to doll up the entire day. I found a white clay pitcher that I tossed a simple arrangement of flowers in. The pitcher was only four bucks. Thank you, Goodwill gods.
Used goods also have Mason jars galore. If you know anything, then you must know that Mason jars are a "thing" now. People are decorating with them and you can, too. But please don't buy your Mason jars at crafting stores because they're $2.99 a pop, and let's face it, none of us are Rockefeller or going to win the next insane Powerball. Buy them used or in bulk. I found 12 classic glass jelly jars at Meijer for 24 dollars.
Go classic with your Mason jars by tying some burlap twine around them and throwing an arrangement including baby's breath and you will basically have a Pinterest wedding.
You could also take your Mason jars up a notch by painting them a seasonal hue. While Martha Stewart may be a crazy lady, she knows crafts and her crafting line is the go-to for all crafting needs. I tried her translucent glass paints on vases and jars and loved the way they turned out. Start by washing the jar with soap and warm water. Then use rubbing alcohol to get off any residual oils. Use a flat tip paint brush and paint in one direction. Let it dry for 15 minutes before painting in the opposite direction. Repeat that process until you're happy with the translucent effect.
Also, metallics are taking over the Pinterest boards right now. Try spray painting a variety of bottles in either silver or gold metallic paints. Don't use all the same shapes and sizes of jars, otherwise you won't achieve that whole "wow, I just casually threw this whole wedding together yesterday" vibe. Matching was so 2015, people.
CRAFT YOUR HEART OUT
If you're crafty and not a fan of the whole not-providing-birth-control-to-our-employees that Hobby Lobby offers, try hitting up Michael's. It's got everything that Hobby Lobby offers, plus it's operational on Sundays and they always have coupons on their website to save your dollars.
I would also suggest scouring the website for Michael's coupons or shopping during a sale because this stuff can get expensive.
Make your own bouquets. It's way cheaper than paying a florist or a designer to do it for you. Doll them up by tying the base in tulle. Or step it up a (rustic) notch and wrap burlap and lace around the stems and tie it off with some twine.
The only thing you need to know if you're wanting a Pinterest wedding is that your flower arrangements must have baby's breath in them. It adds a touch of simplicity to all flower arrangements.
For a simple rustic touch, you can tie doilies around the silverware arrangements and knot it off with twine. I found a pack of 36 paper doilies at Michael's for two dollars and the entire process took me 10 seconds per setting.
Make a classy table centerpiece in under five minutes and under $10. I found a glass vase at Goodwill for three dollars. Scour Goodwill for your perfect vases and fill them a third of the way with white sugar. Place a white candle in the center and sprinkle loose white pearls around the edges. This is the perfect centerpiece for winter weddings.
SPLURGE ON THE BOOZE
That's right, friends, don't skimp on the open bar. Alcohol will make your reception the best reception. It warms people up and makes it seem less embarrassing to dance their asses off.
But in addition, try adding some unique touches. There are three levels of craftiness: expert, mediocre and inept. But the crafts featured in this piece are perfect for even the most inept of crafty minds. Trust me when I say that if I can do these, you can, too.
Shopping is your friend. But keep it local and shop small. The Small Mall on Mass Ave. is three stories tall, so not small at all. Regardless, it is the perfect place to find unique wedding decor that most other weddings won't have.
GET DIRTY
What better place to find nature than — nature?
Warm-weather outdoor locales abound. A little research, a call or two to Indiana's more scenic parks, and you may find the perfect natural backdrop for your nuptials.
If you find a branch from a birch tree, you've just hit the centerpiece jackpot. It's the perfect size for rectangular table centerpieces. Cut holes in the log the size of tea candles. Space them an inch and a half apart. Place the tea candles, light them, and then you can successfully say you spent three dollars for centerpieces. And I can guarantee you that realization will make you feel great.
Finally, if you like booze, that's great! But don't recycle those bottles just yet. Paint them or tie burlap around them or use them for vases or use them for decorations. Alcohol is your friend, people.
NETWORK
Because social media allows us to reconnect with old friends, odds are pretty good you know folks with sewing or photo skills. Know a videographer who owes you one? Someone who can adapt an inexpensive dress to your liking? Is either a fan of a good bottle of Scotch? Don't be afraid to barter — and check with your extended family, too. Maybe your Aunt Betty is pretty handy with a DSLR camera.
And hey, if you don't like the ideas I've provided for you, scour Pinterest—it's wedding planning central. There are millions of other DIY crafting ideas. Make an account and find what's right for you.

Happy planning, party people.

Refusing to host a lesbian wedding cost this farm $13,000

Robert and Cynthia Gifford say that refusing to allow a lesbian couple to marry on their property was not a form of sexual orientation-based discrimination. But a New York appellate court unanimously disagrees.
This week, all five judges in a New York federal court agreed to uphold a ruling from New York State Division of Human Rights, which found the Giffords guilty of discrimination and ordered them to pay a $10,000 fine and $3,000 in damages to the now-married couple, Melisa and Jennie McCarthy.
"This decision not only recognizes how discrimination has affected the two of us, it also helps to protect others from being targeted by the same type of discrimination," said the McCarthys, who were represented by the New York Civil Liberties Union, in joint statement. "We are pleased that this difficult experience has been able to set further precedent that discrimination is unacceptable, and grateful that going forward other couples will be less likely to have the joy of their wedding planning tarnished by discrimination."
The McCarthys contacted the Giffords in 2012, hoping to host their wedding ceremony and reception at Liberty Ridge, a working farm in upstate New York that has previously hosted opposite-sex wedding ceremonies. When the McCarthys were told Liberty Ridge did not host same-sex ceremonies, they filed a complaint with the Division of Human Rights.
While same-sex couples can get married in any state in the U.S., New York is one of only 21 states that grant antidiscrimination protections to LGBT citizens, according to the Human Rights Campaign. Had the Giffords farm been in Pennsylvania, Michigan, or Kentucky, they would not have violated any laws by denying services to same-sex couples.
The Giffords' legal team, the conservative Alliance Defending Freedom, argued that their decision to refuse the McCarthys was "based solely upon the Giffords' religious beliefs regarding same-sex marriage," not their sexual orientation, according to court documents. The justices said that they're one in the same.
"Such attempts to distinguish between a protected status and conduct closely correlated with that status have been soundly rejected," Justice Karen Peters wrote in the ruling.
The Giffords' defense team also argued that since the farm was part of the pair's private property, it was not considered a public accommodation for which LGBT discrimination is illegal. But the court didn't find weight to that argument either, as heterosexual couples are free to marry on their property.

Since the McCarthys filed charges against the Giffords, Liberty Ridge has stopped hosting wedding ceremonies, but still host wedding receptions, which they say are equally open to same-sex and opposite-sex couples.

Ten couples set to wed in $5,000 pop-up wedding

Chaela Hall said her best friend knows she’s “adventurous and into doing crazy things.” It’s why she sent her an article about a new bridal trend coming to New York City in March — a group pop-up wedding.
Hall, who got engaged to her boyfriend of two years Aaron Smith last September, said she signed up for a luxury pop-up wedding experience without even checking with her fiancé first.
“It was something different, unconventional and that’s pretty much how our relationship is so I said, why not?” Hall, 36, told ABC News.
And her fiancé didn’t mind.
“I was in,” Smith, 39, said. “I trust her. And I’m pretty adventurous and spontaneous so I’m always down for some exciting fun event.”
The two will be one of 10 couples participating in PopBliss on March 30-31 in New York City. The two-day event, being held at a secret location in the Big Apple, features three events. First, couples will be greeted at a welcome party the day before the main event. And on their wedding day, they’ll wake up to separate brunches. Next, they’ll head to a suite where they’ll get the full Hollywood treatment — hair and makeup. Next is the pop-up wedding, where each couple walks down the aisle and exchanges vows separately. The couple can invite 14 guests to the surprise affair.
Hall said the event, curated by wedding planner Racquel Kristi, worked for her and Smith, who are both residents of Maryland.
“We were planning on going to the Justice of the Peace (at City Hall) and now everyone gets to participate and share in our adventure and this new path we’re going to take,” she said. “It’ll create another memory with something we’ll never forget.”
Still, she admitted that there are downsides to a pop-up wedding. Their four children under the age of 12 from previous relationships won’t be there to witness the event.
“They understand that they’ll still be able to cheer mommy and daddy on without actually physically being in the room,” Hall said, noting that the event will be live-streamed for those not included in the tally.
Kristi, 33, told ABC News she’s planned several pop-up weddings in the past, but “nothing like this.”
She’s gone to great lengths to keep the events a surprise.
“We have everyone sign non-disclosure agreements and 72 hours before the event we disclose (the location) to certain vendors, …and some vendors receive the information the day of,” she said.
So how much does it cost to participate in PopBliss? $5,000, Kristi said. Wedding dress and tuxedo not included.
“It includes all the elements of a standard wedding: photographer, videographer, hair, makeup, cake, bouquet, entertainment, catering, open bar, the works,” she said.
It could be a deal for cash-strapped couples. According to a survey by The Knot, the average wedding in 2014 cost $31,213 — an all-time high.

“And couples aren’t stressed with the planning process,” Kristi added.

10 Tasteful Wedding Ideas for Sports Fanatics

Teamwork makes the dream (wedding) work! Score major points with the hubs and knock your wedding plans out of the park by injecting a little team spirit into your big day — in the chicest way possible, of course. These sports-inspired wedding ideas are guaranteed to win over the crowd and give you and your guests something (else) to cheer about.
1. The Food
Skip the stuffy rehearsal dinner and model your pre-wedding party after a high-end tailgate — complete with your favorite food trucks, booze and sports team friendly decor, suggests Chancey Charm Richmondwedding planner and coordinator Alana Futcher. You can also incorporate your favorite game-time snacks by serving them up stadium style for your guests to enjoy as a late night treat before your send off, addsChancey Charm Charlotte planner Miranda Tassi. Um, nachos and sliders, anyone!?
2. The Program
Real bride Morgan Haile of Morgan Taylor Lacquer is tying the knot to former pro-baseball player Tony Gonzalez next year and definitely plans on tying in the whole sports theme. Instead of traditional wedding programs, theirs will be designed to look like a game program with pictures of the duo and bridal partymembers in them. So cute.
3. The Cake
The groom's cake is a given (score!), but if a full blown sports-themed cake won't make the cut, Jessica Janik, Founder of The Invisible Bridesmaid, has another, more understated idea. "Have the inside of your wedding cake dyed to match your team so that when you cut into it, it bleeds the team colors."
4. The Color Scheme
Rather than plaster your reception with team gear, Phoenix, Arizona-based wedding planner Chandra Keel, owner of Chandra Keel Events, advises couples to incorporate layers of subtly that show off their team loyalty. "For example, Packers fans can choose lots of greenery, like eucalyptus or tropical palm branches, for centerpieces and accent it with gold. Or, opt for bouquets of green and yellow mums." If your team colors aren't exactly wedding-friendly, she recommends using the colors as an accent to white, which always looks elegant.
5. The Guestbook
If you're a diehard fan of a baseball team, for instance, have your guests sign baseballs in place of a traditional guestbook, suggests Keel. "Hockey fan? Let them sign a hockey stick." One groom Lynn Jawitz, owner of Florisan Wedding and Event Design in NYC, worked with actually worked for the Cincinnati Reds and had guests sign his baseball jersey (later to be framed) with sharpies.
6. The Accessories
Think monogrammed cufflinks and colorful team socks for the guys. As for the bride, not many people will actually see your garter so if you want to have one that's in your favorite team's colors (or your husband's), go for it, urges wedding planner Kelli Corn of Kelli Corn Weddings & Events.
7. The Photo Booth
Take one for the team, and turn your photo booth into a game...well, sort of! Celebrity event designer Brett Galley of Hollywood POP recommends stocking your photo booth full of fun sports-themed props and/or having each guest create their own sports magazine cover as their photo favor.
8. The Wedding Monogram
If you both root for the same team, why not consider a subtle use of the logo for your wedding monogram? "While it's true that team logos are predominantly made up of thick block letters and wedding monograms are typically swirly and romantic, a combination of both design elements can successfully be achieved by a talented graphic designer," says Florida-based wedding planner Aviva Samuels of Kiss The Planner. And the applications for it are literally endless! "It can be utilized as a light projection on the dance floor or walls, on stationary items such as menus and seating cards, as well as beverage napkins and signage."
9. The Favors, Table Numbers, and Escort Cards
Mini basketballs, footballs, etc. branded with your team's name are always a fun idea for favors. As forescort cards, these can actually be designed to look like tickets to the big game. Get creative with your tables and use the jersey numbers of your favorite players (or their names) to label them.
10. The Signature Drinks

In the south (where college football reigns supreme), wedding planner Tracie Domino, founder of Tracie Domino Events, tells us that rarely does a wedding go by without an alma mater somehow incorporated into it. One idea she's a big fan of is either naming your signature drinks after your favorite teams or having them served in your team colors, something your guests can definitely enjoy!

Couple plans to wear wedding dress, tuxedo to Panthers game after weekend wedding

A Charlotte couple is planning a special wedding weekend by getting married on Saturday and a trip to watch the Panthers in playoff action Sunday - in their wedding attire.
Kevin Vaughan and his fiancee, Jennifer Karon, both moved to Charlotte several years ago, separately, to be closer to family.
"Both of our families started to think of both of us as forever single," Vaughn joked. "My grandmother told me that she just assumed I was going to be a bachelor for life."
A chance encounter on a night out with friends changed the course of his life.
Vaughn has just officiated the wedding of a friend, when a group from the wedding decided to go out for night on the town in uptown Charlotte.
Meanwhile, a girl named Jennifer had friends in town and the group wanted to go to a bar with no cover charge.
The pair ended up at the same place.
"Jennifer was kind of standing off to the side near the dance floor," Vaughn recalls. He decided to approach her and the two hit it off. "She said I seemed safe," he joked.
Within a few weeks, Jennifer had him involved in a 5K run.
"I'd never run before. I'd never thought about running before," he said. "But that's what she does. She makes me want to be better - my health and as a person."
The couple joined with several running clubs and eventually ran several times a week with the NoDa running club. Afterward, they would go play trivia.
After dating a while, the pair began to talk about marriage and their future.
"Everyone thought I was going to propose on a cruise we were going on together, but Jennifer said she wanted to be surprised when it happened," Vaughn said. "So I did it after one of our group runs before Valentine's Day."
He made sure that his shoe would be untied at the end of the run, so that he could bend down and propose.
Because the city means so much to the pair, they decided to have the wedding in uptown Charlotte.
"When we saw Roof with a View, we knew it was the perfect place," Vaughn said. "The view of Charlotte is perfect. If we are going to have people come to Charlotte to be part of our wedding, we want them to enjoy the view."
It doesn't hurt that the venue is right next to the Bank of America Stadium.
The wedding date was set before the Panthers 2015-16 schedule was released.
The first thing Vaughn, who has been buying season tickets from a friend with a PSL for a couple of years, noticed was the second week of the playoffs. Wedding weekend.
"When I realized at the beginning of the season that it was possible for a playoff game to be across the street from us on our wedding day, I talked with Jennifer about still going to the game, wearing our tux and dress," he said. "It was an outside chance, I told her. We'd basically have to win almost every game in order for it to happen. She agreed to it. She's a big fan, and at the time it seemed like maybe a 1% chance of happening."
"Every week we told more and more people and I begged everyone to keep cheering harder, and every week the Panthers came out and kept pounding their way to win after win," he said. "She agreed initially because it was a long shot. I thought the closer it came to being reality that she'd come back and say 'no,' but she kept cheering them on."
Luckily for the couple, the game was scheduled for Sunday, instead of Saturday.
"Now we'll be able to enjoy the entire game for the first day of our honeymoon, instead of squeezing in a quarter at most before having to run off to the venue," Vaughn said.
But the couple still plans to be at the game - wedding dress, tuxedo and all.
"Starting our honeymoon off by cheering the Panthers on to their win," Vaughn said.
Is he more nervous about the wedding or game?
"Neither. We have a great group of people helping us make sure the wedding is great - all Ts crossed and all Is dotted," he said. "And the Panthers aren't going to have any trouble beating the Seahawks."

After the game, the couple plans to head down to Charleston for a mini-honeymoon and then plan to take a bigger honeymoon later in the year.

I Paid $66 for My Wedding Dress and the World Didn’t End

I didn’t want a wedding. I’m not saying that to be cool or to prove how not-basic I am, but I’d never been one to dream about bigger-than-yours diamonds, strapless white gowns, and a stable of girlfriends in matching dresses. In fact, I wasn’t sure I was even sold on the idea of marriage at all. I wasn’t steadfastly opposed, but I would have been more than happy to remain in a committed relationship with my boyfriend, Adam, and not do the wedding thing. However, when he proposed in 2011, I said yes because I loved him and because I knew how important it was to him to make it official. I said hell no, though, to a traditional wedding and all its trappings.
I won’t bore you with the drama that ensued—basically, my no-wedding plan was overruled, as was my plea for a teeny-tiny dinner. I wasn’t thrilled, but—as a logical adult—I understood that our families and my husband-to-be wanted to celebrate in a bigger way than 20 people sitting around a restaurant. And, frankly, I didn’t care enough to control the whole thing. But guess what I could control? What I wore to the celebration. But instead of focusing all my energy on the dress, I did the opposite: Didn’t give a fuck and kept telling everyone who asked “I’m sure I’ll find something!”
I flat-out refused with a capital R to step foot in a single wedding salon, no matter how “cool” or “indie” or “chill” it fancied itself. I knew for a fact I didn’t want to wear a dress designed specifically for a wedding, nor did I want to deal with salespeople who no doubt wouldn’t be amused by my blasé attitude and my unwillingness to say yes to any dress.
Plus, I was—logically, I thought—opposed to spending a ton of money on a garment I’d wear once. To each their own, but I wanted to treat what I wore less like a magical, princess-for-day experience, and more like an outfit that looked good on me for what’s sure to be a fabulous but five-hour night. That’s shorter than a work day, to put it in perspective.
My abject noncompliance placed me in a tough spot. I knew I needed to show up in something decent, but had absolutely no interest in bopping around to stores—even stores I liked—looking for it.
Since I had no interest in hunting, I decided I’d buy some fabric and find an inexpensive seamstress to stitch me up the style I was starting to envision: a super-silky, long-sleeve wrap dress. Something that would look great but also effortless at New York’s Bowery Hotel on a Saturday night in August. Yes, I’m aware now this classifies as having a dress made, which is just as annoying as shopping for one.
When I decided that was the plan, I asked an emerging designer whom I’d interviewed a year before and become sort of friendly with to suggest a local seamstress or tailor he particularly liked. That’s where things kind of fell apart: The designer told me he’d like to create the dress himself. This was a problem for a few reasons.
One, he told me he was eventually planning to launch bridal in addition to ready-to-wear, and wanted to test the waters. I didn’t feel comfortable being a guinea pig because I didn’t want a “wedding dress” and felt he wouldn’t want to lend his name to the simplicity I envisioned. Two, I didn’t want to make the process a thing but felt I couldn’t say no, and thought it might be the easiest and chicest route in the long run. Showing at New York Fashion Week had to count for something, right?
The details that followed don’t need to be recounted in full, but I will say the dress was a hot mess, and for that we were both at fault. I wasn’t nearly as assertive as I should have been. I nodded and shrugged at the sketches, assumed the result would be better than the first two versions I saw, and tried on a third draft that was so uncharacteristically low-cut and massively unflattering that I started tearing up when I looked in the mirror. But I still didn’t demand we start from scratch.
After leaving his studio—more depressed about the way I perceived my body in the dress than the fact my wedding was in 12 days—I called the designer up and told him it wasn’t working for me, and I’d be happy to pay for the fabric but I no longer wanted the dress. He wasn’t thrilled—not that I blame him.
It was around this time that a little bit of panic kicked in, but I was still convinced I’d find something, somewhere. I spent a particularly stressful 48 hours flicking through dresses at Barneys, Saks, Derek Lam, J.Crew, Phillip Lim, and about 100 other stores on Fifth Avenue and in SoHo, also overnighting a random assortment of dresses from Net-A-Porter and Shopbop. Nothing.
Then, nine days before the wedding, I casually mentioned to my mom that I had a 30 percent press discount card to Lord & Taylor, a store we had nothing against, but never really shopped in. When she suggested we check it out because time, I agreed. We weren’t in the evening department more than 15 minutes when we saw a silky floor-length white dress with a pale-pink sash and a glitzy feather off-the-shoulder top. It was fun, a little kooky, and looked like something I’d wear anyway.
When I tried it on, it fit like a glove, save for an extra few inches at the bottom. Turns out, it was past-season BCBG, and it was on sale for just under $300. Done.
We took the dress up to the register, both psyched. Me because this nonsense was over, her because she didn’t have to deal with my aversion to everything bridal anymore.
“$66.80,” the cashier said. My mom and I glanced at each other, confused. Turns out the dress wasn’t only on sale, it was on clearance and my press discount applied, making the grand total less than the cabs we’d taken that day.
Now for the irony: The wedding ended up getting canceled the day-of—thanks, Hurricane Irene!—and rebooked for two months later. Other girls would have used that extra time to find something else, but I was thrilled that I’d found something I really liked, even if it wasn’t a “dream dress” by definition, and all I had to do was throw it on and show up, which I did on October 15.
My dress was a hit, and once I had it on, I pretty much forgot it existed and was able to eat, drink, and dance as if I were out on any other night.
Do I gaze at photos and feel grateful that the dress managed to stand the test of time? Nope, but who cares? I’m not afraid to admit that my personal style changes all the time, and I don’t think women have to morph into Audrey Hepburn prototypes just because they’re brides. I loved it at the time and still do, for what it was.
Plus, after some googling, I learned Amy Poehler wore the same dress in a shoot for The Hollywood Reporter, so some stylist, somewhere approved.

I recently read that Oscar de la Renta proclaimed the wedding gown to be “the most important dress in the life of a woman,” but I respectfully have to disagree with the late, great designer. I prefer to look ahead when it comes to my clothes, and don’t consider my wedding dress any more important than the one I plan to wear out this Saturday night, and I’m perfectly fine with that.