Butler County’s first same-sex wedding bonds two women

o women holding right hands and ended with a quick kiss — Butler County’s first same-sex couple wedding was held Tuesday in Middletown Municipal Court.
Keeya Estell, 26, and Dawnesha Sims, 23, who started dating seven years ago, were married by Middletown attorney Matthew Dixon because Judge Mark Wall was out of town at a conference. Dixon’s husband, T. Duane Gordon, attended the ceremony and after the wedding, as the couple stood outside the courtroom, he congratulated them and said he and Dixon were married three years ago in New York.
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled by a 5-to-4 vote last week that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage in Ohio and 12 other states. Since the decision, several same-sex couples have applied for marriage licenses, according to the probate courts in Butler and Warren counties. There have been 10 issued in Butler County and six in Warren County, officials said.
Sims’ parents, Christopher and Andrea Brown, of Middletown, attended the wedding as did Estell’s 7-year-old twins, son Kevin and daughter Karter. When the wedding ended, one of the twins banged the gavel on the judge’s desk and both started giggling. Estell said she had the twins with a man she had dated, then met Sims a few months later. They have been together ever since.
“The first time I saw her, I knew she was the love of my life,” Estell said. “We figured this was the time to go all the way with it.”
They had planned to wed last year in Washington, D.C., but pushed the date back and decided to hold the ceremony in Middletown, four days after the U.S. Supreme Court lifted the ban on same-sex marriages in Ohio and 12 other states.
Sims admitted she was nervous before, during and after the short ceremony.
“We have been through our trials and tribulations,” she said. “But we will make this work.”
As Dixon, performing his first wedding, nervously read instructions off a sheet of paper, the two women held hands. He asked if they had wedding rings to exchange and they said they didn’t. They were called spouses, not husband and wife.
Later, as the two women stood in a hallway outside the courtroom, they were asked why they chose to get married after living together for years.
“It’s official,” Estell said. “It’s permanent.”
Estell said this was her first and last wedding.
Then Sims interjected: “Your only.”
To the ceremony, Estell wore a flowered dress, while Sims wore blue jeans and an untucked white shirt.
Estell said she was attracted to Sims because of her smile, her eyes, her heart. Sims called Estell the dominant, aggressive one in the relationship.
They plan to remain living in Middletown and possibly buying a home.
They were asked what they would tell those who disagree with same-sex marriage. Estell spoke up first: “Only God can judge me at the end of the day.”
Then they joined hands and walked out of the City Building, a married couple for the first time. But first Sims remembered what she learned a few minutes before.

“We were married by a gay man,” she said. “That was cool.”

Something Old for Something New

The Dear Prudence chat is on hiatus this week, so in the meantime, we’ve collected some of the best wedding letters from the last few years’ worth of chats. June, already usually thewedding-est month of the year, received an additional matrimonial boost with the Supreme Court’s ruling making same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states. One thing remains as true as ever: Our understanding of marriage may evolve, but the drama remains the same.
Q. No Marriage: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and just moved in together. We’re both 30 years old and have no plans to marry. My boyfriend’s parents won’t take no for an answer, and after we move in together they asked us when we wanted the wedding. We told them we weren’t getting married, but they complained that we were being ridiculous. This crazy argument went on for a few weeks when his parents upped the crazy by a notch. They’ve booked their church for our “wedding” for next year and have also reserved a ballroom at a large hotel (deposits are due at the end of the week). They want us to decide on a band, flowers, food, etc. We told them that they can hold the wedding, but we won’t be there. My boyfriend’s mom also gave her travel agent my phone number and she’s already left a couple of messages asking when I can come in to plan our honeymoon. This is beyond weird. What else can we do to convince them that we are not getting married? My boyfriend has been as forceful with them about this as I have, so it’s not a case of us sending mixed signals.
A: I don’t have a subscription to Brides magazine, so I don’t know if they’ve covered the ins and outs of a ghost wedding. There’s probably not a lot that’s been written about the etiquette of the non-bride who is not getting married whose boyfriend’s parents have become (non)in-lawzillas. What your boyfriend does is tell his parents that sadly they will lose all their deposit money if they go ahead with this farce. If they become monomaniacal on the subject of the wedding colors and floral arrangements, your boyfriend might have to tell his parents you two aren’t communicating with them anymore until they come to their senses. If they go ahead without you, let’s hope that at the last minute they can find an engaged but broke couple on Craigslist who would love a wedding extravaganza and can step into your gown and your boyfriend’s tux.
Q. Possible Cousin Marriage: Over 20 years ago I had an affair with a married woman who became pregnant with my child. She reconciled with her husband and they raised the boy as their own. I have not had any contact with my biological son, at the husband's request. No one in my family knows I have a secret son. Two weeks ago I found out my niece (my sister's daughter) is engaged, and the groom to be is none other than my biological son! Prudie, I am livid that my son's mother and her husband did not stop this relationship in its early stages. "No, Bobby, you can't date that girl because she's your biological cousin" is all it would have taken. I contacted the woman and she swore she didn't know our son was marrying my niece since my niece has a different last name. I asked her what she planned to do to stop the wedding and she said she's doing nothing! Our son doesn't know anything and according to her, cousin marriage is harmless! Prudie, how do I bring this up with my niece and her parents? I have never had any contact with my son and I don't think I should approach him about it. He doesn't know his father is not his biological father. I don't want my niece to live in incest because of my past mistake, Please help.
A: This is an opportunity to repeat my frequent reassurance to fathers: Dads, a statistically significant percentage of you actually have sired the children you think are yours. There's no reason to doubt the mother of the groom when she says she didn't realize the bride was related to you, especially if there's been no big family gathering to celebrate the impending nuptials. You think you have a simple, easy way for the mother of the groom to stop the romance by saying, "Bobby, your father is not your father, and your fiancée is your cousin!" But if you think this through, explaining all this will entirely upend his family, and now yours, and at this late date in the wedding planning you can understand that the parents want to stick with their original plan to keep quiet about Bobby's biology. I do think that people are entitled to know their origins and keeping these secrets has the potential for blowing up, as you are now seeing. But as it stands only three people know you're the biological father of the boy, and while it may take all your will power, I think it should remain that way. Cousin marriage is common in much of the world and I think the remaining laws against it in this country should be repealed. Yes, there is an elevated risk of passing on genetic disorders, but it absolute terms it is very small. Two young people are in love and planning to make a life together. I think you should let that be.
Q. My Husband Is Not Invited to My Niece's Wedding: I am one of four siblings, all in their late 50s/early 60s. I am a gay man who legally married my partner of 28 years earlier this year. Two of my sisters are lesbians with one married to her longtime partner as well. The remaining sister, the youngest, is married with five children and is a devout Catholic. Her daughter is getting married soon and the invitation arrived the other day, addressed only to me. My other married sister's invitation was addressed only to her. I don't know what to do. I emailed the niece's mother and asked if my husband was invited and if my niece was registered anywhere. I did not get a response. I'm pretty sure he and my sister-in-law are not invited as my sister does not approve of the relationships due to religious teachings. Now I'm hurt and unsure how to proceed. My husband has known my niece since she was born. My sister has always treated my husband respectfully, though she has dropped a few hints about how she feels. In the past I have even paid my sister's mortgage when her husband was unemployed to keep her and her children in their house. I don't plan to attend without my husband and am not sure if I should just decline the invitation and leave it at that or if I should let them know how hurtful their actions are. What would you do?
A: If there is anyone who grew up knowing that there's nothing wrong with being gay, it should be this young bride. So go directly to her. She is an adult and is responsible for her invitations. Tell her, "Maureen, I'm thrilled you're getting married. However, I just got the invitation and saw that it was addressed only to me. I hope that was an oversight and that my husband, your other uncle, is invited. Your Aunt Cynthia also mentioned that her wife was left of her invitation. So we need to clarify whether our spouses are included." Then hear what she has to say. If she says she left the spouses off because of her mother's feelings, you should tell her that she is old enough now to make her own decisions. If her decision is to not invite the spouses of her uncle and aunt, then you need to explain basic etiquette to her. You say that wedding invitations are one of those things that are extended to both parties in a couple. Tell her that if she isn't including your husband, then you wish her all the best, but you will not be able to attend. And if that's the case, I wouldn't worry about where this couple is registered.
Q. Should I Let My Husband Marry His Dead Fiancée’s Ghost?: Before he met me, my husband was engaged to another woman who passed away only weeks before their wedding. Her mother contacted my husband with an upsetting story of her daughter appearing in her dreams repeatedly. The mother believes the spirit of her daughter is tormented and unable to “pass over” because she has unfulfilled business, namely the wedding which never occurred. The mother has asked my husband to take part in some creepy spiritual wedding ceremony so that her daughter can find peace and enter the afterworld. After he said no in the nicest possible way, she has continued to pester and plead with him. Now he thinks he should just do it for the sake of putting an elderly grieving woman at peace. While I don’t believe in such superstition I find it weird and plain wrong for my husband to “marry” another woman, even if she has been dead for years. We have been fighting over this insane issue. Am I being stubborn or am I right in thinking this is twisted and inappropriate?

A: You can have all the compassion in the world for this grieving mother, but I agree with you that having your husband engage in a spectral wedding is not the answer. Of course, this woman will always mourn her daughter, but it sounds as if she may be experiencing complicated grief. That is she is stuck in the rawness of her loss and it’s not her daughter who is unable to move on, it’s her. Since your husband is in touch with his late fiancée’s mother, I think he should gently suggest she find a therapist who deals specifically with this issue. He needs to say that he understands her wish for a ghostly ceremony, but it is not healthy for anyone to go along with it.

How Anne Murray's 'Could I Have This Dance' was born

It was a single, unassuming line in a song — "Could I have this dance forever?" — but Wayland Holyfield's instinct told him his friend Bob House was onto something big. The two Nashville songwriters took House's line and made it the basis for a new song, "Could I Have this Dance."
Anne Murray took it to the top of the charts later that year, and moviegoers heard her sing its famous hook ("Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?") in the hit film "Urban Cowboy." In a conversation with Bart Herbison of Nashville Songwriters Association International, Holyfield remembered how "Dance" came to be.
There are two kinds of songs every songwriter wants to get. One's a Christmas song, because you're going to have one nice quarter in performance royalties every year if you get a hit Christmas song. The other is a wedding song. You and Bob House wrote "Could I Have This Dance." Take us back to the idea and the day that song was born.
I remember it well. I was working with the publishing company of the late Bill Hall who was a fabulous publisher and a good guy. I was in my office. I worked 9 to 5 when I was doing (songwriting) full time. I don't quite have the fire in the belly anymore to do it. I'm from Arkansas, and Bob was from Harrison, Ark., so I'd kind of taken him under my wing. He hadn't had much success and he would come in and play songs. I can't remember the name of the song that he played, but in it, in a verse, he said something about "Could I have this dance forever?" or something. It was like, "Wait a minute, Bob! Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?"
Two of the greatest lines, in my opinion, in the history of music. If a song's supposed to paint a picture, and give a message ... You always say "Less is more," when you talk to young songwriters. "Could I have this dance — for the rest of my life?"
It kind of sums it up. Now, we had to have some other lines and stuff. And you're right, for a songwriter, one of the most validating things you can do is to have a song that touches people's lives, and when they use it in their weddings. I don't ask about what happened after the wedding — and if it truly was for the rest of their life — but at that time, it really validates what you do as a songwriter. And this was in 1980, right before "Urban Cowboy" came out, because Anne Murray recorded it and it was in the movie. People would come up to me and say, "We used that in our wedding." That means so much. A little bit later, they would come up and say, "My parents used that in their wedding." And this last spring, somebody came up and said, "My grandparents used it." OK, OK! It wears well. That's good.
I don't think anyone knew what a phenomenon ("Urban Cowboy") was going to be, how it was going to change music and popularize (country music). Do you remember the first time you saw the movie?

Oh yeah, I do, (with) our old friend, Gerry House. We got to go to a premiere down at 100 Oaks. He was in front of me, and after it had been played, the movie, I was just sitting there watching the credits. He turned around and said, "Pal, that's gotta feel great!" I said, "It does."

How the business of same-sex weddings may change

Thanks to Friday's Supreme Court ruling legalizing same-sex marriage, the wedding industry may be poised to get even larger.
A new survey of more than 1,200 LGBT American couples and singles by wedding website The Knot—which is owned by XO Group—found that their weddings tend to be intimate celebrations, with 90 percent involving less than 150 guests.
The study, which will appear in its third annual The Knot LGBT digital magazine Friday, also found the celebrations tend to be cheaper than the $31,213 price tag of the average U.S. wedding. Male survey responders spent an average of $15,992 on their weddings, while women forked over $13,055. just little over one-fifth of the LGBT couples spent upward of $20,000 on their big day.
The reason for the price difference may be due to the age of the couples. The survey showed LGBT men and women were about 41 and 39 on their big day, respectively, while the average age of marriage overall in the U.S. is 31 for men and 29 for women.
Dhanusha Sivajee, executive vice president of marketing for The Knot, said the delay isn't a commitment issue. Most LGBT couples live together for seven to nine years before tying the knot.
"When you think of same sex couples, 96 percent live together before marriage," Dhanusha Sivajee, executive vice president of marketing for The Knot, said. "I think they've been waiting for something like today, this historical moment."
Bob Witek, president of Witek Communications, believes because many couples have been in established relationships for quite some time, they may not have the disposable income to spend on a lavish wedding.
"I'm not in the market to have that kind of wedding that people have when they're younger," he said from his own personal experience. "I'm saving for my retirement, and in doing so, my marriage is not going to have the same approach or the same investment."
However, now that gay marriage is legal, Witek thinks many more couples will consider getting married at an earlier age. With Witek Communications estimating that the LGBT group had a purchasing power of $884 billion in 2014, there's potential for the wedding industry to grow.
"What's going to change is the average age of couples getting married is going to trend downward," he said. "We have a pent up demand of people who have been denied it for many years. Many of those are looking to legitimize and legalize their relationship so that they can be very confident that they can have legal custody of their children."
Even before Friday's decision, brands have increasingly been marketing specifically to same-sex couples looking to get hitched. In 2012, Target featured a same-sex couple in a wedding registry ad, complete with the slogan "Be Yourself, Together." The Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority ran a full-page ad in USA Today in October to encourage couples to come to Sin City to tie the knot.
Just this week, Esurance released the #EqualDreams commercial, which narrated the wishes of children that everyone could get married someday regardless of their sexual identity. Tiffany and Co. featured a real gay couple in one of its "Will You?" ads last year.
"For more than 177 years, Tiffany & Co. has been the jeweler people turn to when they look for ways to celebrate the special moments in their lives," a representative for the company said in a statement. "We are honored to play a role in those celebrations, and we want everyone who shops with us to feel welcome and appreciated. In addition to beautiful designs and superior craftsmanship, excellent customer service is what all our customers expect from us."
The Knot is also projecting the industry will grow.

"People are going to celebrate their love and celebrate that legally," Sivajee said. "A lot of people have been waiting for this decision."

Recovering Sharon Budd And Husband Get Wedding Anniversary Surprise

It was a wedding anniversary surprise for an Ohio woman severely injured after rocks were thrown off an overpass on Interstate 80 last year in Union County.
Wednesday night Sharon Budd and her husband Randy got a special dinner at a restaurant near Lewisburg.
“Happy anniversary!”
“Oh, thank you that’s so nice! Hi!”
From their happy expressions, Sharon and Randy Budd certainly weren’t expecting this welcome here at Applebee’s near Lewisburg.
After spending another day at the hospital, they were planning a quiet dinner but instead got a surprise wedding anniversary celebration for their 32 years together.
“Oh look! Happy anniversary, that is so nice!,” said the couple, looking at the two cakes the restaurant provided, along with balloons and a bouquet of flowers.
“We never expected it so it’s wonderful, loved the cakes and the flowers and the dinner provided. So, everything has been a surprise and a wonderful surprise,” said Sharon.
“It’s really moving just to have Applebee’s in Lewisburg, just to put this together we had absolutely no idea,” said Randy.
It`s been a tough year for the Budds.
Sharon was severely injured last July when rocks were thrown off an overpass on Interstate 80 just before the Lewisburg exit as the Budds were traveling back home to Ohio.
Four teenagers from Union County were arrested and were in court Tuesday as the case against them continues.
Sharon spent much of last year at Geisinger Medical Center near Danville and continues to return for more surgeries.
With her family needing a place to stay all that time, Jeff Farrow and Ron Frost offered the Budds one of their rental properties, free of charge.
“I called Geisinger, see if they needed a place to stay and I figured there’s going to be lots of people that would offer a place, but I found out later that nobody did,” said Farrow.
“To me it was a lifesaver and a stress saver because that was one of the things when we first came out here, we were staying at hotels, and the bills, my kids and family members were coming in,” said Randy.
But Jeff and Ron told the Budds they did have one condition for that free rental; the Budds must to go on summer vacation with them next month.

“That Sharon and I would be able to walk on Rehoboth Beach with Ron and Jeff so we are going to be coming out July 17th,” said Randy.

Scammers Steal 90-Year-Old's Wedding Ring, Other Heirlooms

A 90-year-old woman was tricked in her own Montgomery County home by scammers posing as utility workers, who stole treasured pieces of jewelry including her wedding ring.
It started with a simple knock at the door to her Kensington home.
"I said, 'Are you from Pepco?' and she said, 'No, but we're just helping the utilities,'" said the victim, who didn't want her name used. The woman asked to see the victim's power meter, and the victim took her around back.
But the front door was left unlocked, and a man was out front in a red or maroon car.
"She just kept talking, and every so often, she'd go back to check with her boss, she said," the victim recounted.
After the supposed utility crew left, the victim made a devastating discovery: "My jewelry box was open and everything in it was gone except a pair of pearl earrings," she said.
Irreplaceable pieces may be lost forever, including her wedding and engagement rings from her late husband, and the watch he gave her for their first Christmas, engraved with the year and both their names.
Montgomery County Police think the scammers pulled the same trick on two other senior citizens recently. The other two victims are also women, and live in Silver Spring and Rockville.
In the earliest known case, which happened in May, the thieves told the victim they could replace pipes, but instead stole credit cards from her house. Police have surveillance images of the suspects, a woman and a man, using stolen credit cards at various stores in Montgomery County and in D.C.
Officer Rick Goodale advises residents to ask to see utility-issued ID, and to call the company they're claiming to be from.
For the Kensington victim, who was robbed just two days before her 90th birthday, the effects of the theft have gone beyond the loss of her sentimental items.
"I feel like a prisoner in my own home," the victim said. "You know, I never know who's watching me."

"I've lost trust in people," she said.

Shotgun wedding: Pair marries at La. gun shop

Some Saturday morning nuptials in southeast Shreveport may have redefined the term "shotgun" wedding, while offering up someentertainment of the redneck variety.
When Ricky Martin (not the singer) and Beverly Brooke (the singer from London) decided to get hitched in the States, they opted to make the move at Martin's Gun Shop on Kay Drive, owned by Ricky's dad. Henry Martin no longer sells guns, but he does expert repair on shotguns and there were plenty on hand inside the store, if a need arose.
How this wedding came to be is a miracle in itself and can be laid to rest on the heavily tattooed shoulders of Tammy Martin, sister of the groom and best friend of the bride. Dating a member of the 69 Eyes rock band in Finland, Tammy met Brooke on Facebook and decided to visit her a couple of years ago in London. The two became fast friends, so when Tammy returned stateside, Brooke came along for the ride.
"She didn't know she was pregnant at the time," Tammy said. "Brooke went back to London, but her family threw her out. She was homeless on the streets of London."
But as luck would have it, Brooke found a $20 bill, or maybe it was a 20-pound piece, on the street. She called her U.S. friend to tell her the news.
"I told her to go to the race track and bet on the gray horse," Tammy said. "She did that and won $1,500. She used the money to buy a plane ticket and come back here. God was taking care of her."
But that's not nearly "the rest of the story." Tammy developed breast cancer, had a mastectomy and has undergone chemo and radiation. Although she's doing well enough now to consider moving to Finland, Tammy got the shock of her life when she was released from the hospital. She discovered that her 55-year-old brother and 35-year-old best friend were dating.
"I thought they were kidding," she said.
Ricky proposed in February, Brooke accepted and Tammy began making plans for the wedding. Since Ricky was recently laid off from his job, a bare-bones wedding was in order.
"They were looking for a place and I told them they ought to just have it at my shop," Henry Martin said. "We could put up some tents and there's plenty of parking at the Lodge across the street."
So, Martin's Gun Shop, which has been around since muskets were brought over on the Mayflower, became the landing spot for the 60 or so folks who came to celebrate with the family on the memorable day.
"About half of them are from Houston, and the other half are from our deer lease," explained Tammy.
Also attending was Carl Hadra, a former Barksdale pilot who flew in from Salt Lake City, for the festivities. Tammy's ex-husband, John Twohig also participated in the shindig with a smile and helping hand as needed.
"We were married 13 years, but we were together 25," Tammy said.
Finding something borrowed and blue for the wedding wasn't a problem. The wedding decorations of turquoise and orange were "recycled" from Amy and Shane Trichel's wedding from a couple of weeks ago.
Brooke was tastefully dressed in a cream dress with turquoise sash and a sleeveless denim jacket. Like the rest of the bridal party, she wore brown cowboy boots, but had trouble deciding on a topper.
"I have two 'ats and I'm not sure which to choose," she said with a look of concern. "And I'm a bit nervous."
She opted for the cream 'at with the orange/turquoise flower in the band. The ceremony was conducted by Judge Barbara Douget, who wasted little time once she took the reins.
"We're gonna make this quick, because it's hot out here," said Douget, who recently oversaw a wedding in front of the fish tanks at the Bass Pro Shops.
And quick it was. Once the words and rings were exchanged and the kiss was planted, Douget pronounced the couple "Mr. and Mrs. Ricky Martin." Beverly instantly became a U.S. citizen who can now sing country music, while Ricky continues to stay clear of all microphones.
Appropriately, the post-wedding meal was catfish with all the trimmings, cooked by Trichel and Dillion Twohig, and served under several quickly erected tents.

Following a honeymoon trip to Shreveport's Eldorado Casino, the couple, along with 2-year-old Henry Brooke, will reside at the Broadmoor home of Henry Martin.

Iowa art gallery closes after rejecting same-sex wedding

An art gallery and bistro whose owners attracted controversy for refusing to host same-sex wedding ceremonies plans to close permanently, its owners announced Monday.
A Des Moines couple filed a complaint with the Iowa Civil Rights Commission in 2013 after Dick and Betty Odgaard, owners of the Gortz Haus, refused to let them rent the gallery housed in a 77-year-old former Lutheran church for their wedding. The Odgaards argued that same-sex marriage was against their Mennonite faith.
In a settlement last year, the Odgaards agreed to pay the couple $5,000 and to not discriminate against same-sex couples. In lieu of that agreement, the Odgaards announced in January that they would no longer host any weddings at the Gortz Haus out of fear they could become a target for discrimination lawsuits.
The gallery was no longer financially viable as a business without the money from weddings, Betty Odgaard said in a news release. The release said a local church congregation is interested in moving into the space.
"It's wrong that Iowa did this to us," Betty Odgaard said. "The gallery was our home away from home. But even though Iowa was wrong, we're more certain than ever that what we did was right. We wouldn't have chosen this path, but we're honored to bear witness to God's goodness throughout the nearly two-year ordeal that Iowa has forced us to walk."
The owners of an art gallery and bistro at the Gortz Haus said Monday they will close their business. (Photo: Register file photo)
The Odgaards were heralded by social conservatives who applauded them for sticking to their religious beliefs over business concerns. They were represented by attorneys through the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty, a group that litigates nationwide "to protect the free expression of all faiths," according to its mission statement.
On a Saturday campaign stop in Johnston, Republican presidential hopeful Sen. Ted Cruz said the Odgaards were victims of "liberal fascism."
"Today, the modern Democratic party has decided their devotion to mandatory gay marriage in all 50 states is so unforgiving that there is no longer room for defending religious liberty," Cruz said.
Still, Iowa law prevents any business offering services to the public from discriminating based on sexual orientation. Legislators added sexual orientation to the state's civil rights law in 2007.
Donna Red Wing, executive director of LGBT advocacy group One Iowa, said in January that the Odgaard's decision to stop hosting weddings was unfortunate, but that the owners needed to follow the law. It was the right move if they would continue to not allow same-sex ceremonies, she said.
"I think it's sad that people have to make a decision like that," she said. "I'm really sad that their beautiful facility is no longer going to have any weddings at all, but if they're not going to allow same-gender weddings, they really can't allow any."
Betty Odgaard said Monday that she and her husband made the decision to close a week ago. There's no exact date for when the gallery will close, but it possibly could happen sometime in August, she said.

The Odgaards have founded a nonprofit ministry called God's Original Design Ministry that will focus on advocating for "traditional" one-man, one-woman marriage, the release said.

Say 'I don't' to debt during wedding season

Saying "I do" shouldn't require you to toss aside a trail of dollar bills as you walk down the aisle.
But if you watch too much reality TV, you're guaranteed to lose a whole lot of money trying to re-create a celebrity wedding.
There are ways to hold onto cash, stick to a budget and be a beautiful bride.
It's far easier to start trying to save money, though, if you remember you're not marrying a Clooney or a Kanye. Here are five strategies:
1. Cut into a slice of the unconventional.
My nephew's bride saved hundreds of dollars by having cupcakes instead of a traditional wedding cake. The real savings: A few family and friends gathered the morning of the wedding to decorate those cupcakes.
A former and favorite editor said his daughter saved her bridesmaids money by skipping pricey gowns and requesting they wear non-matching black evening dresses.
More and more, we're learning that it is OK to get extra life out of hand-me-downs or heirlooms, such as wearing a cousin's wedding dress or using a grandmother's ring. Some save money by getting married in a small ceremony at court or sharing expenses with the groom's family.
"Everybody is kind of rewriting the way to do things," said Jen House, 37, a wedding planner in Plymouth, Mich. She's been involved with weddings lately that ranged from $15,000 to $250,000. Many times, she said, weddings in Michigan average $30,000 to $40,000.
House, who runs A Moment In Time Wedding + Event Production, said some money-saving ideas aren't always good ones, though. She frowns on the idea of having gorgeous invitations printed for most guests but then handing out photocopies to friends at work to save money.
"It's real tacky," House said. "All guests need to feel the same."
2. Plastic isn't always tacky.
Putting wedding bills on credit cards is not the way to go if you cannot afford to pay the bill in full.
But some consumers could benefit by putting most of their charges on one credit card and spreading out the charges in various months — if they can pay the bill in full and if they have a card that can build up rewards points, such as cash or mileage for honeymoon travel.
They don't want to max out lines of credit, though, if they're going to be applying for a mortgage or car loan soon.
3. Don't star in your own episode of "Say Yes to the Dress."
It really is OK to re-use or re-purpose a family member's or friend's wedding dress to save some money. No one needs to know that you did not buy the most lavish dress in the showroom, either.
Wedding planner House said she often recommends that brides at least consider some neat programs out there like the Brides Project in Ann Arbor, Mich., which sells donated gowns. Money raised from the sale of the gowns goes to support families touched by cancer through the Cancer Support Community of Greater Ann Arbor.
The Brides Project in Ann Arbor opened in 2011 and sells about 220 gowns a year, mostly to people in Michigan, but some brides have been from Chicago, Virginia and Colorado, said Hannah Lowe, coordinator of the Brides Project.
Lowe, 32, said gowns are priced from about $200 to $1,000. A $1,000 dress might have originally cost $3,000 to $5,000. The project now only accepts donations of gowns that were worn from 2005 and on. No donations of bridesmaid dresses or mothers dresses are taken.
4. Say no to the fake wedding dress.
Mail-order dresses can surprise you, and not in a good way, much like mail-order brides. Will the dress show up looking like anything close to the picture?
Stories abound online of gorgeous pictures for white wedding dresses that arrived with a green hue and some lacy, sexy wedding dresses that ended up being downright frumpy.
Consumer groups warn that some websites are even hijacking a brand's name to make it seem like you've got the real deal for a designer label.
The American Bridal & Prom Industry Association says you want to study the contact information for any site that you find online. You don't want to just order a $500 dress with only an e-mail address as the contact.
If you're shopping online for a deal, pay attention if the model's face is cut off, as the image could be stolen by someone who isn't authorized to carry the brand.
Also, read all return policies online before you buy.
If shopping in a store, make sure a dress isn't missing any tags or has a weird spelling. Visit the brand name's "Where to Buy" Web page or store locator to make sure you're working with an authorized retailer.
5. Don't invite an ID thief to the wedding.
ID thieves can take advantage of the big day as some brides change their names.
It could be convenient to turn to someone else for help, such as name-changing services, but you're turning over important documents to someone else, the Better Business Bureau warns.
"The best way to change your name is to do it in person with all your documents," said Melanie Duquesnel, president and CEO of the Better Business Bureau in Southfield, Mich.
Otherwise you could be asking for trouble.
Brides who want to change their legal names after marrying should start first at the Social Security office. See www.ssa.gov and you'd need to bring proof of your identity, such as a driver's license, U.S. birth certificate or U.S. passport.
Next, you'd want to change your name on your driver's license with the Secretary of State's office. And then, change your name on all your credit cards and bank accounts.
Adam Levin, chairman and co-founder of Credit.com and IDT911.com, said married couples need to review their credit reports about 30 days after getting married to check for fraud.

"Most new brides don't think about how the process of changing their last name could leave them exposed to identity theft," Levin said.

Carolyn Hax: Wedding night goof blows up the marriage

My honeymoon and marriage are in tatters because of two words I said on my wedding night. A few years ago, I was in a very intense relationship with “Rick.” When it ended, I swore I wouldn’t become so intimately involved with someone unless it was for life.
I met “Tom” shortly afterward, and knew he was “the one.” I shared with him my views on premarital sex but didn’t explain what happened or why. He completely supported me. We just married and had a beautiful reception, spending the night at a hotel near the airport because we were going to Europe for our honeymoon. As things heated up between us, I accidentally said, “Oh, Rick.” I realized my mistake immediately, and the look of horror on my face was met by the look of hatred on his.
“Who’s Rick?!? Why are you thinking about Rick when you just married me?!?” It got really vicious. He called his parents and told them to set up a divorce attorney when he returned. Then he called my parents and introduced himself as “your future ex-son-in-law.” He asked them who Rick was and why I was moaning about him!
I pleaded with him for a chance to set things straight, but he quickly got dressed and took his suitcase and my passport with him, and told me not to follow him to Europe. The airlines couldn’t help because I didn’t have my passport, and when they tried to page him, he refused to talk to me. He’s not answering my calls, and the only text he answered was one where I suggested couples’ counseling. He said he’s not the one fantasizing about an old flame on our wedding night.
I’m trying to get a new passport, and wondering if I should get on a plane as soon as I can to try to salvage this. What should I do?
WEDDING NIGHT DISASTER
DEAR WEDDING NIGHT DISASTER: Your honeymoon and marriage are in tatters because Tom reacted with absolutely stunning hostility to a quirk of the human brain.
Yes, his pain is understandable. Yes, yours was a huge mistake – and not just the fateful “two words,” which I’ll get to in a second. A person’s sense of self – or humor – would have to be formidable to take a slip like yours in stride.
But. For this to obliterate all of his supposed love and trust, plus any inner mandate to be kind? His commitment to you – as a human being, vs. as a bride or presumed virgin – can’t have been deep.
He didn’t just get sad or angry, or yell, or cancel the honeymoon – he went for your emotional jugular and hasn’t let go. He called your parents to shame you. Making mistakes, that’s life. Living in fear of his reaction to your next mistake, that’s Hell.
This glimpse of his true character is a gift. Accept it and annul the marriage.
Take time to think before acting, sure. Get counseling, solo, with someone good. Heal. Forgive yourself.
And make a note for next time: Telling people the what (in this case, no premarital sex) without any hint at the why invites misunderstandings. The best way to know people is to let them know you, and better upfront than the morning after. I’m so sorry.

Throw a Wedding Like the A-Listers, With Tips From Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder’s Wedding Planner

GET INSPIRED—AND THEN GET HELP There are lots of fun, fresh ideas for every aspect of your big day, from save-the-dates to aisle decorations to favor tables. Pick up wedding magazines and click through Pinterest—then bring your ideas to the pros to help decide if you can make them work. (Your florist will tell you if you have the budget for peonies in December or a 20-piece band.)
PICK A SURPRISING VENUE You should choose your venue before you make any other decisions (time of day, formality, color palette), so seek out something that’s meaningful to you as a couple. Hot on celebrities’ radar right now, Andrea says: private estates, floral gardens, rustic ranches, vineyards, and destination venues with breathtaking ocean views.
SPEND ON WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU Even celebrities have a budget cap—so every bride and groom has to decide what elements they want to highlight. If flowers are your priority, spend more on tall arrangements for a guaranteed “WOW!” factor; if you care more about food than florals, opt for low, low-key centerpieces and warm candlelight.
DON’T LET TRENDS DICTATE YOUR STYLE A celeb who’s edgy in her everyday life will often pick a wedding dress that makes her feel exquisite—even if it’s not a trendy label or silhouette. Pick something that works for you and your body, never mind what’s happening on the red carpet.
GREET YOUR GUESTS WITH GIFTS If your friends and family have to travel to get to your wedding, say thanks by having an out-of-town guest bag waiting for them at the hotel. The basics, Andrea says, are something sweet, something salty, and a refreshing beverage; you could also include a personal note and a list of local restaurants and amenities. Celebs go above and beyond with something as fancy as a designer bath robe.
GET PERSONAL Celebrities might make a lasting impression with custom cocktails, monogrammed napkins, or different china at every place setting. Pick at least one personalized element that will make your wedding “just so YOU.”

LET ’EM REST Celebrity clients, Andrea says, often request lounge furniture by the dance floor as part of their celebration because they want their guests to feel comfortable sitting out a dance or two but to still feel like part of the party. Couches, plush pillows, or even blankets for outdoor events help to create a warm and inviting ambience.

Bride Goes Nuts When Hotel Cancels $1 Million Reception After Accidental Shooting

A Waldorf Astoria wedding shooting led to some high drama after hotel officials decided to cancel a $1 million wedding reception after an accidental shooting, and one disappointed bride reportedly went nuts.
The incident took place this weekend, when bride Anna Goldschmidt was getting ready to say her vows to Elan Stratiyevsky in a traditional Jewish ceremony. Guests were enjoying a pre-wedding cocktail in the lobby of the exclusive New York City hotel when the bride’s cousin accidentally shot a guest.
The shooting left one woman with a minor head wound and others with cuts from broken glass. The shooter, Vladimir Gotlibovsky, explained that he had a permit for the 9mm Ruger and that the gun went off accidentally.
Police had initially charged the shooter with a number of counts, but later announced that they would defer charges.
The District Attorney’s office released a statement on the Waldorf Astoria wedding shooting.
“Prosecution of this case is deferred while the investigation continues into the circumstances surrounding the discharge of the firearm and its removal from the scene. The person believed to have discharged the weapon has a permit authorizing him to possess and carry it.”
But the incident didn’t end there. After the shooting, the couple went on with the ceremony, but the hotel’s staff then informed Anna Goldschmidt that the million-dollar reception would have to be canceled.
She didn’t take it well, as the the New York Post reported.
“Thanks to a veil of secrecy constructed by family and friends, Goldshmidt — decked out in a jewel-encrusted headpiece — remained in the dark until after the traditional Jewish ceremony, which included the breaking of a glass followed by a passionate kiss as hundreds of guests cheered.
Goldshmidt learned of the gunplay only when the hotel cited it as the reason it was canceling her reception, leaving her ‘hysterical,’ a law enforcement source said.
She let out a ‘blood-curdling’ scream, the source said.”
Many at the wedding said they felt sorry for the bride, who had nothing to do with the incident and ended up having her dream wedding abruptly called off.
“The guy’s an idiot. It was during cocktail hour. It was just stupid that he brought it,” said a guest, who did not give his name.

Though the charges against Vladimir Gotlibovsky are currently on hold, police may still decide to file charges in the Waldorf Astoria wedding shooting.

Robert Pattinson And FKA Twigs Not Calling Off Wedding, Will Kristen Stewart Be Invited?

Robert Pattinson and fiancée FKA Twigs have been at the center of breakup rumors since they began dating last summer. However, as new reports suggest the British couple is calling off their upcoming nuptials, sources close to Pattinson and Twigs insist that the wedding is still a go.
Gossip Cop reached out to sources close to Pattinson to inquire about rumors that suggest the Twilight actor’s sisters, Lizzy and Victoria, are trying to convince him to call off his wedding to Twigs.
One tabloid claims that Pattinson and FKA Twigs are having a difficult time convincing Robert’s sisters to attend their wedding because his family is “not on board” with him getting married to the songstress.
While Pattinson and Twigs have been vocal in the past regarding harmful comments made about their romance, the tabloid continues to allege that Robert’s future wife is a “gold-digger” and is “using” him to promote herself and her singing career. Those rumors also falsely allege that Pattinson is giving into his sister’s suspicions and is considering breaking up with Twigs.
However, Gossip Cop insists that real sources close to Robert and FKA, whose real name is Tahliah Barnett, are denying claims that suggest the wedding is off for the happy couple, revealing that the latest round of rumors regarding the duo are simply “not true.”
The news comes only a few days after reports began speculating whether or not Pattinson’s ex-girlfriend and Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart would be receiving an invitation to the British couple’s wedding.
Sources dished to Life & Style magazine that Pattinson and Twigs were doing well with their wedding planning until it came time to assemble the guest list.
“Things were great until they were going over the guest list, and Rob dropped the bomb about Kristen. Twigs couldn’t believe it and told him absolutely not. She was flipping out and they got into a huge fight.”
The source also alleged that Rob felt Twigs acted too harshly to his request to invite Stewart.
“Rob thinks Twigs may be overreacting, but he definitely put a damper on their wedding plans and now he’s desperately trying to resolve the situation.”
Despite the claims, Gossip Cop busted this rumor as well, insisting that Pattinson never intended for Stewart to be invited to the wedding. In addition, sources close to Twigs and Rob insist that the couple never got into a fight over the guest list and ensure fans that Stewart will not be in attendance at Pattinson and Twigs’ ceremony.
While Pattinson and Tahliah have yet to confirm a date for their upcoming nuptials, sources close to the couple have predicted that the wedding could occur as early as this summer in London.

What do you think of Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs’ romance?

County EMS ‘grandmother’ Wedding dies at 83

Charles County Emergency Services Department has lost a highly honored and respected member.
Known as “Miss EMS” to many, Margaret Elaine Wedding of Indian Head died June 5 at home. She was 83.
A charter and founding member of Charles County Mobile Intensive Care Unit Station 60 in 1978, Wedding was honored in November when the mobile unit’s station was dedicated in her honor.
Wedding was born in Spartanburg, S.C., and grew up in the South. A member of the Brownies and Girl Scouts, Wedding was a member of the original Mickey Mouse Club, according to her obituary.
When she was 12, Wedding and her brother lost their parents, as reported previously in the Independent. She graduated from high school at 16 before enrolling in the Rutherford School of Nursing. She joined Casualty Hospital as an emergency room nurse in 1949, and spent 11 years working and studying to earn a bachelor of science in nursing.
An active member of the Maryland Emergency Medical Services with her husband, William Wedding, Elaine served for more than 45 years.
“I have loved the opportunity to be in a position to try and help others,” she said in a November article in the paper. “I have been extremely blessed by every encounter I’ve had over the many years serving my community.”
She earned the first associate applied science degree in emergency medical services at the age of 66 in 1997 from Charles County Community College. In 1999, Wedding was awarded the Josiah A. Hunt M.D. or EMS Person of the Year Award, the highest award for an individual in the Maryland Emergency Medical Services Community.
In 2000, she was awarded the Chesapeake Society of Fire and Rescue Instructors Francis L. Brannigan Instructor of the Year Award.
The medical intensive care unit established the Elaine Wedding Rookie of the Year Award in 2009. According to her obituary, Wedding obtained her paramedic certification in spring 2015, and was the oldest paramedic in the state of Maryland.
Bill Smith, public information officer for the Charles County Volunteer Firemen’s Association and the Charles County Association of Emergency Medical Services, said Wedding was “everybody’s grandmother,” and everything she requested for her funeral was done.
“It was a very beautiful and moving service,” Smith said. Doves were released at Nanjemoy Baptist Church cemetery while a poem was read, and, as is done for all EMS, police and fire personnel when they die, a last call was announced for Wedding over the radio.
Wedding was the longest living paramedic in the county, Smith said. Until a year ago, Wedding remained active as a paramedic.
In a story about the dedication of the Charles County Mobile Intensive Care Unit Station 60, Wedding said she was happy to be an integral part of the CCMICU.

“I thank God that he put me with the CCMICU for the remaining years of my journey. I fought the good fight. I finished the race,” she said.

Bargain bottomless booze wedding for "Summer of Love"

Imagine signing a wedding venue contract Wednesday for an 84-person event that same Sunday and pulling it off, not to mention with an open wine-and-beer bar for $80 per person, tax and gratuity included.
No need for speculation, Salt Creek Grille in Dana Point has done it before.
With the “Summer of Love” all-inclusive wedding package “the formula is already put there,” said Helen McClaire, the restaurant’s wedding coordinator. Brides and grooms just have to sign up, provide centerpieces and the party is well on its way.
Menu items such as sundried tomato goat cheese canapés (one of three tray-passed appetizers) and the oven-roasted chicken with herb jus are pre-planned and this makes the affair less stressful and more affordable, said McClaire.
Because these items are among the most popular at the restaurant, this allows bulk ordering and streamlined preparation that helps keep prices and stress down. And by limiting the bar to wine and beer, the restaurant can ensure a lower-priced, yet elegant affair.
“Since so many brides-to-be are planning their weddings this time of year, we thought this was the perfect time to really spread the word that we can offer an extraordinary wedding experience for a truly affordable price,” said owner Tim McCune.
For betrothed couples looking for more wallet-friendly options, Anaheim’s White House has a “Silver Menu” priced at $70 per guest that offers options such as a sauteed whitefish with lemon beurre blanc or a braised beef short rib topped with horseradish cream and a reduction of cabernet sauvignon. Combinations of two dishes are also possible. At an additional $15 per person (counting only guests that will be drinking alcohol), the White House provides an open bar of beer, wine and well cocktails for one hour, with each additional hour costing $5 more per guest.
If price isn’t a factor so much as poshness, The Ranch Restaurant, also in Anaheim, offers a more premium lower-priced option for brides and grooms. The Ranch’s “Silver” menu, priced at $85 per person, includes hors d’oeurves, a starter salad, a main and dessert, which is a selection of petit-fours crafted by award-winning pastry chef David Rossi. Savory items include fava bean crostini with shaved Parmesan and black truffle and a petit filet that comes with heirloom carrots grown on the Ranch’s own farm.

Drink packages at The Ranch begin at $25 per person for a two-hour beer and wine open bar, with each additional hour costing $15 per guest.

My Wedding Was My Inspiration, But I Lost 40 Pounds for Me

By the time I walked down the aisle on May 9, 2015, I had been engaged for nearly two years. I'd read every article you could imagine -- including both sides of the "to lose weight and not to lose weight" war. And it is a war.
One thing you learn really quickly as a bride is that there is almost no middle ground when it comes to certain topics (weight loss, name changes) regarding your choices as a soon-to-be Mrs.
Weight loss is one of the topics that has a hard line.
Either you want to be fit and look up 30-day challenges for various parts of your body and drop the weight, or you defy the expectation and refuse to lose weight. Except that maybe you just want to lose a few pounds for yourself, not "for your wedding". Or maybe you're perfectly content with how you look and that's not a statement. These middle ground areas are hardly heard, but they are probably where the majority of brides fall.
Let me just put this out there: Three weeks before my wedding I had to go buy a brand new wedding dress, off the rack at David's Bridal, because I'd lost enough weight that my original dress couldn't be altered well enough. It's easy to call me a fitness fanatic bride and be done with it. But losing all that weight was never my goal -- and I didn't "do it for the wedding."
I just did it for me.
I've always been overweight. There are very few skinny people in my family. But even before I got engaged, I'd been on a weight loss journey. I stepped on a scale one morning and was tired of the number I saw so I went on a diet and started being proactively active. I initially lost 30 pounds and gained some back long before wedding bells were in my life.
When I bought my dress (14 months before my wedding) I didn't intend to lose a significant amount of weight. I wanted to lose maybe another 15 pounds to get me to my original goal weight.
And then this interesting, amazing thing happened: I fell in love with running. I had decided to start officially "sweating for the wedding" 10 months before the wedding. I'd been going to Zumba classes that I loved for a year already, and had seen a lot of changes in the shape of my body, but I was mostly maintaining.
I decided to start running. I used a couch to 5K program -- and with the support of my fiancé, I was running my first 5K race by the end of summer.
I hated running. I couldn't do it. I've had weak ankles my whole life. I underpronate. It was like asking to be tortured. And yet with couch to 5K I built up the muscles correctly. Less than a year later, I am now running 10K distances without ankle braces. I'm the one running out the door on the beautiful spring days to hit the pavement.
Running, mixed with Zumba, boot camps and a healthier diet, led me to lose 40 pounds (and numerous inches) from July 2014 to May 2015. My entire body type changed. I went from an apple to an hourglass. I dropped from a size 16 to an 8. I bought more clothes in various sizes in that time than I usually buy in years. It wasn't easy, but it was what I wanted. It was the continuation of a journey I started in August 2012 and one that I am sure I will always be on.
I went through the normal dress fitting process, starting a little early since I knew my dress would probably need extra alterations. My seamstress seemed a bit daunted by the challenge, but up for it. And then at my final fitting the dress just didn't fit right. It was meant for a bigger person and a different shape. It was perfect for a different me.
I cried. Don't get me wrong -- this was devastating. I cried while I looked online for new dresses. I held in tears as I worked my way through a Zumba class. And then I went to the store and stepped into what would become my new gown. It was perfect. It not only fit perfectly aside from needing a hem, but it hugged my new curves and showed off the smaller me I'd worked so hard to get.
I properly mourned the loss of my old dress and tucked it into a closet until I'm ready to try and sell it. But the old me would never have even tried on my new dress, and I can't imagine getting married in anything else.
My journey it isn't for everyone. It was hard. During that summer, I worked out sometimes six days a week between my C2K program and Zumba classes. I still ate ice cream, and we still enjoyed dinners out frequently, but I made a lifestyle change.
It's not easy. It's a choice I make every day.
Sometime in the future -- next week, one year, five, 10 -- this will just be a funny story I tell people about my wedding, but when it was happening, it was a heightened stressful experience for three weeks. But I don't regret losing the weight or learning to run or the stress it caused me.
While the wedding was the inspiration for losing weight, I didn't do it for anyone but me. I didn't feel pressured to lose weight. I don't look at my wedding pictures and see someone I don't recognize (a very popular notion in the world of anti-wedding-weight-loss stories), but rather just a smaller version of me. The me that I am today, and hopefully tomorrow, and a few days longer than that.

And when the weight comes back -- whether from pregnancy or just because -- I'll still love fitness. I'll still have the knowledge of what I can do when I put my mind to it. And I'll still have my husband -- and in the end nothing else really matters.

When ‘Cheers’ Left the Bar for a Wedding Chapel

“What’s taking so long? Shouldn’t the wedding have started by now?”
Cheers is just the best. It’s such a consistent, impressive, bewildering display of talent with one of the most humble stories behind it. Watching this struggling show turn into an unstoppable juggernaut — yet deserve every ounce of it — is a thing to behold. There’s a reason that it’s regarded as such a tentpole of sitcom history, and if you’ve never pulled up a barstool at this hazy locale you’re really depriving yourself of something special.
In spite of the show going through transitions like casting changes and a slowly shifting voice, it remained solid for a staggering eleven seasons. Even as the show’s style broadened in the later years as it adopted more of a “having fun for the sake of having fun” attitude, it still worked, which can plainly be seen with this episode.
Cheers is a show that could by and large be considered a “bottle series,” as nearly every episode is situated solely in the titular bar. It’s really an art to watch how scenes and dialogue play out accordingly, as there are a scarce amount of transitions being used. As a result, many episodes of Cheers would qualify for this feature, but it seemed only appropriate to single out one that not only respects nearly all of the bottle episode conventions, but also removed the gang from their familiar booze-drenched haunt.
Cheers was also very much a show about finding true friendship amongst the loners and derelicts in a local bar. However, when telling a story about marriage —true companionship — they interestingly move outside of their safe haven. They have companionship, but there is still more powerful bonding beyond that. Now, wedding episodes can largely be a drag, but this one subverts all of those preconceptions beautifully. It’s wonderfully Cheers’ take on what a wedding episode of television should look like, just as an Always Sunny or Communitywedding episode would be far different than the sappy norm (although they would do more saccharine versions of this later on). For starters, the episode endswhen Woody and Kelly’s wedding starts, with the episode’s concerns lying in the build up to all of this rather than showing the wedding itself.
It’s enlightening that this madcap wedding craziness would not only be returned to later in Cheers’ run, but also towards the end of Frasier’s tenure, where their very final episode, which featured an important marriage, would also displace the cast into an unusual setting for much of the runtime. These were episodes of TV that weren’t so much interested in delivering a heartstring tugging, overly romantic depiction of a wedding on television, but rather highlighting the chaos and bundling of nerves that happens to most people on the cusp of their nuptials. In this respect, it makes perfect sense to use the occasion of a wedding as the framework for a bottle episode. What other circumstance has you thrown together with squabbling members of disparate families where more than anything else you’re left pining for the feeling of escape? We even have the silly tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other on their wedding day before the big moment happens — a concept that is designed around the idea of having space, freedom, and calm — all values that a bottle episode is quick to destroy. Here, not only will you not get your peaceful segregation pre-wedding, you won’t even be able to leave the same room that your soon-to-be spouse is in. Wedding episodes are a good mark for showing our characters at their craziest, so to lock all of that into an enclosed space together cranks up the emotions that everyone is feeling even more.
Now granted, this might not seem like a bottle episode when it begins, but stick with me here. The episode begins naturally enough with everyone still in Cheers, albeit dressed to the nines and ready to begin working and attending Woody’s wedding, but this subtle first act (whose allowance to breathe and take its time also aids it greatly) almost makes the impact of when the “bottle” hits all the more powerful. We’re treated to almost a prologue-like first act that sets the scene before placing us into unfamiliarity (the Gaines’ kitchen), and the fact that this episode is twice as long makes a single scene change excusable here.
It’s also worth noting that this was an example of Cheers doing a double-stuffed, hour-long episode over a decade before shows like The Office would resort to such events for overhyped ratings stunts. There wasn’t a single iota of manipulation going on here, but rather merely Cheers’ creative team trying to turn out the best finale possible, with Woody’s wedding being the most logical centerpiece to hang it all on.
Although Cheers was about unity and friendship through its entire run, this episode especially hits those points home through both its structure and content. The episode starts with everyone sharing congratulations with Woody over the long overdue consummation of his relationship with Kelly; never before has he felt more like one of the guys. And by the end of the episode, he’s entered an even more powerful union with Kelly. The episode underscores these themes so strongly by presenting forced union and the consensual kind, turning it into an even more satisfying finale.
With everyone effectively in wedding mode, the Cheers crew is re-positioned to the staging zone of the Gaines’ kitchen as they get ready for the wedding all episode. It’s great that the episode doesn’t make its designated bottle the actual church or the altar, but instead something refreshing like this. It’s also shocking to see how quickly the characters and James Burrows’ direction basically turn this kitchen into their bar, especially when noting how everyone is staggered in the area and the respective tasks they’re stuck with.
While a lot of the time emotional issues are what are keeping people held up in their respective bottle in these sort of endeavors, here the gang is physically trapped in the kitchen, with the threat of hilariously angry Dobermans (who are named Hitler and Attila) who attack anyone that cross their path, looming outside. Now, it’s worth mentioning that there still is another exit to the kitchen, but this entrance is practically used as a roving gag machine (most notably when Sam first meets the comely cousin Monika). It almost feels like an improv game, as one character will be pushed out the set of doors just as another one is being ushered in. It allows a number of different dynamics to populate the kitchen, with someone from the core group always remaining there. It’s the perfect extra sort of manic icing to put on this surreal wedding cake.
This episode operates with the complicated effectiveness of a top piece of theater, and the sort of art form that the creative team here would later perfect so well onFrasier. Everyone has something to do here, and watching them all negotiate around their respective tasks in this cramped, increasingly busy kitchen is a testament to how effortlessly this show could operate by the time it was in its tenth season. The pacing is honestly insane here and I’m still astounded at just how much comedy they manage to hammer out of this. All of these seemingly random elements come culminate in the final moments in an inspired fashion, years before dovetailing plotlines became par for the course from Seinfeld andCurb Your Enthusiasm. It’s truly a skilled juggling act that keeps throwing more flaming chainsaws into the mix. All of this of course being deliciously prophesized by Carla’s horoscope reading that “this wedding will be a disaster.”
There are sublime moments of comedy here, like when Sam thinks he finally has this disaster under control: “Alright, see? No need to panic. Everything’s under control here.” And then the sword-wielding jealous beau of Monika bursts into the kitchen demanding a duel. Many of these characters’ goals directly oppose others, so watching an impeccably timed game of people hiding things (which cardinally includes the corpse of the minister who they’re hiding in the dumb-waiter like a ticking time bomb) from one another in a minuscule area is a great deal of fun and a smart way to use the bottle they’re trapped in. From top to bottom, “An Old-Fashioned Wedding” is not only the right way to do a wedding episode of a sitcom, but also how to properly pace a double-sized episode of a comedy.

The worst thing about this entry is that we don’t get to see any of Lilith’s elaborate distraction performance. You can’t just tease a three-cleaver finish.

Both wedding and fiancé causing stress

My fiancé and I are getting married in a couple of months. There is a nine year age difference. I felt that worked well for us as I loved his maturity and focus on life goals. But doubts about the wedding are eating me up.
We've planned our wedding off and on for the last two years.
First, let me say I'm not a real wedding-type person. I dread having to wear a wedding dress and the mile long list of things to do. I wanted things small and casual.
Every time I tried talking about our options, my fiancé gave me short answers, if any, then changed the subject. So I dropped the planning and continued on with life. Finally I had enough of the dark wedding cloud over my head and refused to move forward without his involvement.
He got on board.
Since then our wedding has turned into something neither of us want due to all our parents forceful input. Now we are having more people and a different season to accommodate everyone. There are bitter feelings from both family and ourselves.
All the fun has been sucked out of it. I am burnt-out and fed up with everyone including my fiancé. For the last year I've felt he's hit another level and age bracket in his life where he is just no fun anymore. He is not taking care of himself as he used to and has no passion for anything.
He feels too old for me now. I'm experiencing the desperate need for color in my life and he is black and white. I feel like such a kid and he is such an adult. I don't know how else to explain it.
Petra
Petra, weddings are a lot of work or they can be, and if you can't handle the work of the planning, you lose control.
Everyone who helps will pick based on what they like. The bride-to-be may want it to be fun and she may want to be the center of attention, but it isn't fun for others to go, "Oh, whatever you like. Oh, whatever you like."
Forget the meddlers and focus on the relationship.
Many of your complaints are aimed at your fiancé. We didn't hear "I love him" or "I would battle to be married to this man." The last thing a person wants to say, when they file for divorce, is, "I knew I shouldn't have gotten married in the first place."
Just as there are introverts and extraverts, comedians and straight men, there are people who press for a wedding and then blame the other person when the marriage goes kaput.
Clearly, you don't want the wedding that is happening. Call it off.
Cancelling will do two things. On your fiancé's side, you will know where he stands. Either you will hear, "Please, baby, no. What's the matter?" or "What a relief. I didn't want to be married anyway." On your side, your deeper self will tell you that you are sad or that you have been given a reprieve.
Get back to the normal sense of you two being together.
There are things in life we have to own: whether to get a nose job, our college major, and whom to marry. These cannot be made by committee. We alone can make the choice.
Consider also, was this a willful pairing on both parts? Or did you press him for a wedding and his disinterest reflects his unwillingness to give you a ring.
If you marry, make it your wedding. Go to a courthouse, find a quiet chapel where songbirds sing, or fly to Vegas and get married by an Elvis impersonator. Whatever you do, make it your own wedding.

Our suspicion is you don't want this wedding or this man. Calling off a wedding is embarrassing, but being married to the wrong person is a nightmare.

After father's stroke, SC bride moves wedding to hospital

It wasn't exactly the June wedding that Stephanie Quillen had planned.
But it was a June wedding. And most importantly, her father was able to be there.
A month ago, that wasn't at all certain.
Steve Ellison had been feeling out of breath, so he saw his doctor, his wife Brenda said. With two of his coronary arteries seriously obstructed, a quadruple bypass was scheduled for May 7.
To his family's relief, he came through the day-long surgery. But overnight, Brenda's husband of 46 years suffered a massive stroke, leaving him completely paralyzed on his right side.
"We watched all the videos and listened to all what could happen. But you always think that's not going to happen to me," Brenda Ellison said.
"We didn't know if he would wake up. And a couple days later, they said we may need to make some serious decisions. We were walking around in a nightmare."
For the next week, he lay unconscious in the ICU.
Fearing what might happen, Stephanie postponed her wedding.
"I said there's no way we're going to do this big wedding now," she said. "And I wasn't going to do it without him."
Stephanie had met her fiance, John Hovanec, through mutual friends. They'd actually gone to Wren High School together.
They set the wedding, which would be the second for them both, for June 6.
But now, with the nuptials called off, Stephanie set about returning her dress and decorations, canceling the cake, and trying to get a refund for their honeymoon trip to Daytona, which was set for a month before a scheduled church mission trip to the Dominican Republic.
Then Steve Ellison, the 69-year-old owner of Handling Services Inc., a Piedmont company which builds and installs hoists, cranes, and conveyors for large industries, woke up.
Stephanie had been unable to get the honeymoon trip refunded. So they just decided to go ahead and get married wherever her father was at the time.
On Friday evening, Stephanie and John had their ceremony in the garden at Roger C. Peace Rehabilitation Hospital, where her father was transferred Thursday afternoon to further his recovery.
Though he still can't walk or talk, he was there in a wheelchair.
"The important thing is getting married and dad's going to be there," Stephanie said before the ceremony, noting that she was even able to get hold of her original wedding dress.
"It means the world, honestly," she added. "Just to be there with him ... regardless of the situation he's in right now. We know he's getting better. And we're thrilled we're going to be able to do it."
Since her father, who's been the one the family always turned to for help, couldn't give her away, Stephanie's two twin 9-year-old sons, Cooper and Ellison, dressed in tuxedos and took on the job.
And John Hovanec's son, John Joseph, served as best man while his daughter, Emma, was a bridesmaid, Brenda Ellison said.
"We're thrilled we're going to be able to do it," Stephanie said. "It's all working out."
The mother of the bride was thrilled as well.

"We still have our faith and we believe in miracles," Brenda Ellison said. "Everything's going to be OK."

Why you should never look at Pinterest while planning your wedding

Let's talk about the real vampire squid in American life: the wedding industry.
The latest news comes courtesy of Racked, where Juno DeMelo gives us the badly needed takedown of the quaint, do-it-yourself trends that bill themselves as anti-Wedding Industrial Complex. Weddings in the Quaint Economy — wrapped in the "authentic" style of Etsy and Pinterest — have now become just as expensive as the megaweddings they set out to avoid.
DeMelo writes that, "besides driving you bonkers, I'm pretty sure a homemade, rustic-chic wedding costs more than a generic 'fancy' one, because you end up renting vintage velvet settees and suitcases from prop companies and buying 100 overpriced heritage Mason jars on the Internet."
Here are the details from her wedding:
The Mexican-barbecue food truck we hired ran us about $70 a person. For tacos. Those cupcakes cost nearly $500. I balked at the cost of bridal gowns, then spent almost $1,000 on a dress from Nicole Miller, plus another $350 changing the neckline and getting a fancy bustle sewn in—alterations that are usually included at a chain bridal store. While catering halls have roofs, our venue had a charming garden we paid nearly $2,000 to tent in case it rained. We had to buy hand soap for the bathrooms, lights to string from the rafters, and bar equipment for the guys who made our agave and fresh lime juice margaritas, all because our cool venue wasn't really set up for something as uncool as a wedding.
Marriage as an institution is thousands of years old. It has changed in its purpose somewhat, but if you go far enough back, it was essentially a way to confer legitimacy on procreation. That is, it was about making sure that a father's son was really his. That's for a lot of reasons, but a big one is for the transfer of property from father to son, bypassing the women in the family entirely, in most cultures.
These days, it's about commitment and love and having a great party. It's also about transferring your money to two dozen different vendors who have doubled their normal prices just because you said the word "wedding." Remember the $450 wedding shorts?
Weddings in the last couple of years also seem to be about driving yourself crazy DIYing a thousand details that the guests are barely going to notice. I have to wonder how many brides do it because it's really the party they want to plan (in which case, yes! You do you!)? How many do it because The Knot is written to make you feel like you're inadequate if you haven't picked your thematic stationary yet, and Pinterest is a very popular website almost entirely dedicated to getting you to buy things you don't need (pro tip: instead, use it for choosing outfits)?
I'm here to tell you, don't give in. The best wedding I've ever been to was in a bar, and there were not very many flowers, and after we went for pizza.
You should not take this as me crapping on weddings. I love weddings. Please invite me to yours. But I just want you to know that I'll come and I will love it whether you rent out an entire Vanderbilt country estate for the weekend or have a barbecue with an iPod playing in your parents' backyard.

I will not remember your centerpieces, I promise. So only spend hours making them if you will remember them (fondly).

8 tips for haggling with wedding vendors

With the cost of a wedding ceremony and reception at an average $31,213 nationwide, according to The Knot’s recent Real Weddings Study, being silver-tongued and using sneaky savings tactics might seem like the only way to come in under budget. Charisma certainly goes a long way, but even if you’re not a smooth talker, there are negotiating strategies that can get wedding costs down to a reasonable price.
Before signing a vendor contract, read these eight tips. With careful negotiating, you can save money on your wedding — perhaps even thousands of dollars.
1. See If You Can Pay in Full
Getting your paycheck sooner than later is an ideal scenario for anyone, including vendors. Wedding professionals often provide installment plans for their clients, for convenience and as an added benefit. But doing your part to make the arrangement advantageous for the vendor is another way to negotiate lower rates.
Paying your bill in full might give your vendor the opportunity to use the income sooner on business costs, equipment maintenance and more, which could potentially give you more sway to ask for a price adjustment that better suits your budget.
2. Offer to Pay in Cash
It’s important to realize that many wedding vendors are small business owners and hate incurring extra fees as much as you do. Give them more incentive to cut you a better deal by offering to make payments in cash. This can help you and the vendors avoid credit card processing fees and save money.
Valerie Fishbain, owner of Spread The Love, was a bride who knew the importance of flaunting paper instead of plastic. “We were never afraid to ask for discounts and even more [of a] discount if we offered to pay with cash,” she said. “We knew that wedding vendors were used to bargaining.”
Fishbain also suggested working with vendors on the lowest price they’re willing to offer first, then inquiring about an additional discount for cash payments.
3. Share Their Competitors’ Offers
Cash certainly talks, but another way to encourage vendors to bring down their prices is to be honest about the competition’s quote.
“[For] every vendor I ended up with, I did research beforehand with a few other vendors and was open about what pricing others gave me,” Isabella Svenson, a recent Los Angeles bride, said. “Vendors always went lower [than their competition’s offer].”
Remember, when being candid about other offers, make sure you’re comparing apples to apples — the services provided by one vendor should be identical to another’s so your negotiation is seriously considered, instead of disregarded.
4. Tread Carefully With the Word “Wedding”
When it comes to booking rooms and event spaces at a hotel, some couples notice a considerable price disparity between a standard special event, like a family reunion or business meeting, and a wedding. Anne Murlowski said that for her wedding, she received a bid of about $500 when she requested rates for “a meeting space, set up theater style.”
“At this time, we also requested a quote for a locked price on a room block [and] received a nightly rate that was 50 percent less that of a typical stay at that hotel,” she said.
Once rates were locked with a contract, she revealed the intent of the event. “We shared that the event was a wedding when it became time to finalize the details outlined on our online hotel block reservation page for our guests,” said Murlowski.
But use this approach carefully. Many vendors and venues don’t appreciate sudden event type switches, and you might sour your relationship with the vendor. Murlowski said the hotel was very displeased to find that the meeting room was really for a wedding celebration. Hotel staff admitted that, due to the “high touch” nature of wedding clients, disclosing the event was for a wedding would have cost her more money from the get go.
“In hindsight, that probably was not the wisest choice to wait as long as we did, because it created some bad blood between us and the hotel,” Murlowski said. “As a result, they tried to nickel and dime the rest of the booking … In the end, I’m confident that we still locked the entire ceremony in at a lower rate than if we had shared from the beginning that we were planning to host a wedding. But we might have been better off disclosing our purpose immediately prior to signing the contract.”
5. Create a Custom Package for Yourself
If you’re smitten with a particular vendor and haven’t comparison shopped, do what Ashley Feinstein — a certified money coach and February 2015 bride — did. Using the vendor’s existing package as a starting point, she took the reins in the conversation by creating her own customized package, proposing a total price and sending it back to the vendor.
“In some cases we didn’t need everything that the packages had to offer, so we printed out the contract and crossed out everything we didn’t need and sent it back with a revised price within our budget,” Feinstein explained. “The vendor didn’t have to do as much, and we didn’t have to pay as much, so it was a win-win.”
6. Find a Middle Ground
When haggling for a more agreeable price, keep in mind that the chances of getting a fully decked photography package at 85 percent off just because you’re a fan of the photographer’s work is unlikely. It’s important to keep your expectations reasonable when negotiating for a discount. After all, vendors need to pay bills, too.
Tim Halberg, a professional photographer based in Northern California, said one mother of the bride insisted that he should give her a discount because of the city he lived in.
“Somehow, because they paid another vendor the same price who lived in a more expensive town, I shouldn’t charge as much,” he said. “In negotiating for services, ‘reasons’ for a discount don’t apply the same way they do when shopping a used car. Start telling a wedding vendor that their service or product is less than perfect, and you’re likely to offend them.”
So instead of being firm on an 85 percent discount, start there, and see where you and the vendor can compromise. Perhaps you don’t need a professional wedding album in your package, and you prefer to only have a select few images edited instead. Approaching the negotiation ready to compromise, rather than throwing a tantrum, might merit a discount from the vendor’s perspective.
7. Offer Your Services in Exchange for Discounts
A little ingenuity goes a long way when saving money on wedding costs — and so do specialized skills. If you have a specific skill or service to offer your vendor, consider bartering your time and knowledge in exchange for a considerable discount. Murlowski did just this when she offered her professional marketing skills for a huge wedding vendor markdown.
“The trade agreement was for digital marketing consulting, specifically search engine optimization,” she said. “Obviously, this isn’t a skill that everyone has, but in this instance, my expertise was something of value that I could sell to the vendor.”
Murlowski added, “The end difference in out-of-pocket cost came to about 80 percent of the cost of the service.” With that said, it definitely doesn’t hurt to offer your services to your vendor if it can help you lower the overall price of your wedding.
8. Be Honest About Your Budget
At the end of the day, wedding vendors aren’t mind readers. They won’t be able to work with you on executing your dream wedding if you’re not transparent when it comes to your budget.
“The problem that arises is when someone won’t tell the vendor what they want to spend,” said Halberg. “That’s my biggest piece of advice to anyone negotiating — being transparent about budget. It’s the couples who won’t tell me — even after I’ve given them my pricing — that frustrates me to the point that I often decide I’d rather work with a client who is able to talk through the process.”

Securing a great rate from each of your wedding vendors ultimately requires tact and honesty. Without these elements, you’ve already lost footing in the negotiation process.

Kim Richards Is Back In Rehab After Daughter Brooke Brinson’s Wedding In Mexico

Kim Richards is reportedly in rehab after coming up missing after her daughter’s wedding in Mexico. Following Brooke Brinson’s May 23 nuptials, Richards was expected to return to rehab. However, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star remained MIA for nearly two weeks after her arrival to Mexico, and failed to miss the alleged deadline, which was scheduled for May 25.
Luckily, in the days since, Kim Richards appears to have finally flown back to Los Angeles and reentered treatment. On June 2, two sources close to the 50-year-old Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star confirmed to E! News that Kim Richards was back in rehab.
“She’s doing ok, a lot better than she had been.”
According to E! News‘ source, Kim Richards has been in treatment for the last few days, but the facility where she is currently is not the same one as she checked into in late April.
As the Inquisitr previously reported, Kim Richards’ absence after Mexico led to quite a lot of headlines, most of which proclaimed news of her refusing to return to rehab in lieu of some wild nights in Mexico. In the latest report, shared by Radar Online earlier this week, Kim Richards’ Mexican vacation was exposed.
“Kim came back from Cabo last week but is refusing to go back to rehab. She suffered a huge relapse at the wedding, and was mixing booze and pills. However, Kim is refusing to go back to rehab.
Kim has been in contact with sister’s Kyle and Kathy, but both siblings are obviously very concerned about her. There is only so much the family can do for Kim, and refusing to get help is a big obstacle.”
Kim Richards’ family was in Mexico with her, attending Brinson’s wedding as well, but while most of the party returned to Los Angeles after a farewell brunch the following day, the reality star and mother of four continued on with her alleged drinking binge.
Kim Richards is clearly struggling with her addiction, and has been for months. As she revealed on Dr. Phil in April, her demons returned during filming on the fifth season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and were further exaggerated after the show’s reunion.

Following her relapse months ago, Kim Richards was arrested at the Beverly Hills Hotel and charged with public intoxication, resisting an officer, and battery on an officer. She is due in court next week to address the pending charges against her.

The Ultimate Wedding Hack Is Wearing Pants

I hated wearing dresses so I stopped wearing them. It's taken me almost thirty years to admit that I don't feel comfortable in dresses and skirts, and because I lack any sort of moxie or confidence when I'm in dresses, they never looked great on me anyway. It's fine, though, because I happen to think I look pretty great in pants. And, to be honest, my decision to never wear dresses again has relieved me of many sartorial stresses.
It wasn't until I started attending a bunch of weddings in my late 20s that I began to question how I wanted to present myself as a woman in formalwear. In almost every culture, traditional gender norms dictate that women wear dresses or skirts. From the gown-like hanbok of South Korea, to the draping of saris of India, to the ruffly tiered silhouettes of the Spanish flamenco dress, to the floor-length kimono robes of Japan, women just don't wear pants to formal events. But it's that exact feeling of wearing something so decidedly feminine to a wedding that has always irked me. Wearing a dress to a wedding feels like something I'm supposed to do, not something I want to do. And I don't enjoy putting my body into girly clothing for the sake of what's considered gender-appropriate.
There's a certain level of anxiety that comes with selecting a wedding outfit. I always end up putting too much pressure on myself to look elegant, which is a word I'd never use to describe my everyday getup of slacks and a boxy top. But elegance is expected at a formal event like a wedding. After all, my engaged friends are putting down thousands of dollars for a picture-perfect day. The very least I can do is put on a shiny, new fancy outfit for them. Anything casual would feel downright disrespectful.
And while looking elegant is usually not my forte, it tends to be fun because getting fancy gives me a chance to surprise people who normally don't see me all gussied up. It requires little effort when you think about it—all you have to, once you figure out the ensemble, is put it on your body.
The other kind of pressure I put on myself is looking "sexy" for weddings (LOL). I say this in a cheeky way because I don't usually feel sexy in a physical sense: I have a short frame, a shapeless and rectangular physique, a babyface. But as a single woman who usually shows up stag to weddings, there's always this clichéd notion that there might be someone to hook up with (thanks, Wedding Crashers), so I should at least attempt to look at least a little "sexy" for that potential. (Although, for the record, I've never hooked up with anyone at a wedding.)
I've always envied schlubby men who only need to put on a crisp suit, shave, and comb their hair to look handsome. Women have more to consider when it comes to the attire: We have to determine the color, the fit, the length, and all the accessories. Hair and makeup is a whole other thing to figure out. So the idea of squeezing myself into a dress makes me feel like I'm getting into a costume, as if I'm getting into my "sexy character" for the evening. It feels unnatural and gross to me.
And what does dressing sexy mean anyway? For me, it always meant zipping up a dress that is a bit too tight and a bit lower cut than I'm used to. When I first started going to weddings, I wore the following: Micro shift dresses I wouldn't dare bend over in unless I wanted to show the world my ass. Overwhelming maxis that made me feel like I was drowning in way too much fabric. Weird asymmetrical hemlines that made it impossible to tell what my outfit was supposed to look like. Bodycon dresses that made me super self-conscious about eating too much at dinner. Cut-out back dresses where wearing a bra would ruin the look. And the list goes on! I always looked like I was trying too hard. Which I was. I hated having to readjust myself throughout the night, pulling down the hem here or pulling up the top there.
Dressing for weddings is tricky because it's about hitting that ultra sweet spot, where the Venn diagram of the "sexy" and "elegant" circles overlap. After attending seven weddings in dresses (and consequently feeling all sorts of regret), I've finally decided to wear pants.
My first pants-free wedding of the year was in February in New Jersey, so yes, it was very cold. I've worn dresses to previous winter weddings and the subsequent freezing was both inevitable and, when you think about it, upsetting—I have to forego warmth so that I can look appropriate? So I already felt like wearing pants was a solid decision.
Before I went out shopping for my wedding outfit, I did some Google Image research on nice-looking pants
that were also ankle-length. Emma Stone, Lorde, and Patti Smith all wore incredible pants outfits to the 2015 Golden Globes and they set me on a mission. The last thing I wanted was to look like I was at a corporate office party, so I had my heart set on an outfit with a funky pattern in a rich jewel tone.
What I landed on was a coordinating top-and-bottom set in navy blue with a crab print all over. It was from H&M, which is the most casual store I've ever shopped at for a wedding outfit. The pants even had an elastic waist. I may have teared up in the dressing room. It was perfect. The streamlined head-to-toe matching set made it look cohesive like a dress would, but the separates allowed for the comfort I was looking for. Just some heels, a great updo, and a swipe of lipstick was all I needed.
My foray into wedding pants turned out to be a huge success—I was blown away by all the compliments I received that night, even from strangers. I think there's something about seeing pants on a woman at a wedding that catches people's eyes because it doesn't happen often.
During the reception I ran into another wedding guest in the restroom who wore pants. We complimented each other and I told her it was my first time wearing pants to a formal event. She told me that she never wears anything else. Out of the entire party that night, only three of us female guests wore pants. It felt like we were in on a secret that no one else had caught on to yet. Not only were we able to really get down on the dance floor, we also looked commanding. For once, I was super confident in what I wore and it allowed me to be completely myself. I wondered if this was what it felt like to be "sexy." It was by far the most covered-up look I've ever worn to a wedding.
Since then I've found a renewed joy in wedding outfit shopping. I re-wore the same crab outfit to a ceremony down in New Orleans in March because that was a no-brainer, and I wore silky culottes with a light-knit sweater to a wedding in April. I can't even tell you how much fun it is to wear something super billowy without the fear of having a major Marilyn Monroe exposure moment. For the next few weddings I've got jumpsuits, wide-legged pants, structured shorts, and cropped skinny trousers on my radar. There are truly a ton of great options out there, and it's surprisingly easy to find silhouettes in luxe-looking fabrics.

I highly recommend any woman to take a pair of dressy pants out for a spin at a wedding. For me, it's been a life-changing transformation. So much that I've stopped wearing dresses altogether. And while I'm nowhere near getting married myself, when and if the time does come, I can't wait to search for my perfect white pantsuit.