DIGITAL WEDDINGS, OR WHAT I CALL MALVIKA SYNDROME

Wedding hashtags derived from the names of the couple getting married are the in-thing these days. In the recent past, almost every wedding I have attended has had a hashtag attached to it on Facebook.
And this is how they work. If I were to marry a woman called Mala, then the wedding hashtag could possibly be queeniewedding, where Mal comes from Mala, Vi from Vivek and Ka from Kaul. Or it could also be #VimalKiShaadi, where Vi comes from Vivek and Mal from Mala. Yes, I know it sounds very corny, but I hope you get the drift, dear reader.
And what use do these hashtags do? People attending the wedding can share the photographs they click at the wedding on Facebook by using this hashtag. If they want to write something about their experience at the wedding, they can use the hashtag as well.
How does this help? Anyone who wants to check out all the photos of the wedding, just needs to click on this hashtag and can get to see all the photographs clicked by different people at one place. It is a sort of a meta-album of the wedding.
And if the couple has the kind of friends who are also in the habit of making Facebook posts, you can also get to read stuff about how beautiful the bride looked in her saree or lehanga, and the groom in his bandhgalla, how great the food and the music was, how beautiful the women looked in their sarees, and so on.
The interesting thing is that the wedding hashtag is essentially another extension of digital photography. If photographs hadn't gone digital, there is no way it would work. In fact, digital photography almost did not take off. As Mark Johnson writes in Seizing the White Space - Business Model Innovation for Growth and Renewal, "In 1975, Kodak engineer, Steve Sasson invented the first camera, which captured low-resolution black-and-white images and transferred them to a TV. Perhaps fatally, he dubbed it "filmless photography" when he demonstrated the device for various leaders at the company."
Sasson was told "that's cute - but don't tell anyone about it." The reason for this was very straightforward. Kodak at that point of time was the largest producer of photo film in the world. And there was no way it was letting filmless photography destroy that market.
Nevertheless, over the years other companies like Cannon got into digital photography and the market went from strength to strength. Now we have reached a stage where almost no one uses the photo film, except possibly a few enthusiasts.
One impact of photos going digital has been that almost everyone has turned into a photographer. You don't need a fancy camera to click photographs. A smartphone with a camera would do just fine. Digital photography has made photography democratic and inexpensive. Also, unlike earlier when only a limited number of photographs could be taken, there are no such limitations anymore.
But this has also meant that with a surfeit of photos coming along, they are not as precious as they used to be. This is a point that crime fiction writer Peter May writes about in his new thriller Coffin Road. As he writes: "Shooting on film had meant that there were fewer photographs taken, which had made them more precious, and it was nice to have an album to sit and flick through. Pictures you could touch, almost as if touching the people themselves, a divine connection with a happier past."
Yes, a digital album somehow does not have the same touch and feel of a physical album, which one could turn page by page. Further, digital pictures tend to get lost as well, as we change smartphones, personal computers, tablets and laptops. Devices crash. Backups are not always taken.

The larger point being that change is not always for better. Does that mean we should go back to film photography? Of course not.

NUVO's nontraditional wedding guide

It's January. The first snow of the season has fallen, the temperatures have dropped, and wedding planning season has commenced.
According to The Knot's annual Real Weddings Study, in 2014 the average cost of a wedding was $31,213. It's an all-time high, up 4.5 percent from the previous year, making it the fourth consecutive year for the fiscal increase.
It's not only one of the most expensive industries in the United States today, but also one of the most stressful. And for many couples, January is the wedding planning month.
Kick the stale white wedding to the curb in favor of one that compliments your unique love. Here's how.
After determining what season you're getting married in, plan the crafts around that season. Pinterest has millions of boards for each wedding season.
Barns are the best place to achieve that rustic wedding look. Check out the Mustard Seed Gardens in Noblesville for a classy, yet rustic location for your wedding.
If you're getting married in the winter but don't want to force your guests to freeze in a barn, consider looking into a wintery cottage.
When I think of rustic barns, I automatically picture the rustic cottage from the 1954 film White Christmas. It's just always been stuck in my mind as the perfect place to spend winter.
But let's be real — the backdrops were all blatantly fake and the snow was a flame-retardant concoction of Hollywood. So, how do you achieve the rustic effect but in a "real" environment? You keep your guests dry, keep a fire blazing and an open bar.
Goodwill is the perfect place to find not only cheap tacky knick-knacks, but also unique trinkets to doll up the entire day. I found a white clay pitcher that I tossed a simple arrangement of flowers in. The pitcher was only four bucks. Thank you, Goodwill gods.
Used goods also have Mason jars galore. If you know anything, then you must know that Mason jars are a "thing" now. People are decorating with them and you can, too. But please don't buy your Mason jars at crafting stores because they're $2.99 a pop, and let's face it, none of us are Rockefeller or going to win the next insane Powerball. Buy them used or in bulk. I found 12 classic glass jelly jars at Meijer for 24 dollars.
Go classic with your Mason jars by tying some burlap twine around them and throwing an arrangement including baby's breath and you will basically have a Pinterest wedding.
You could also take your Mason jars up a notch by painting them a seasonal hue. While Martha Stewart may be a crazy lady, she knows crafts and her crafting line is the go-to for all crafting needs. I tried her translucent glass paints on vases and jars and loved the way they turned out. Start by washing the jar with soap and warm water. Then use rubbing alcohol to get off any residual oils. Use a flat tip paint brush and paint in one direction. Let it dry for 15 minutes before painting in the opposite direction. Repeat that process until you're happy with the translucent effect.
Also, metallics are taking over the Pinterest boards right now. Try spray painting a variety of bottles in either silver or gold metallic paints. Don't use all the same shapes and sizes of jars, otherwise you won't achieve that whole "wow, I just casually threw this whole wedding together yesterday" vibe. Matching was so 2015, people.
CRAFT YOUR HEART OUT
If you're crafty and not a fan of the whole not-providing-birth-control-to-our-employees that Hobby Lobby offers, try hitting up Michael's. It's got everything that Hobby Lobby offers, plus it's operational on Sundays and they always have coupons on their website to save your dollars.
I would also suggest scouring the website for Michael's coupons or shopping during a sale because this stuff can get expensive.
Make your own bouquets. It's way cheaper than paying a florist or a designer to do it for you. Doll them up by tying the base in tulle. Or step it up a (rustic) notch and wrap burlap and lace around the stems and tie it off with some twine.
The only thing you need to know if you're wanting a Pinterest wedding is that your flower arrangements must have baby's breath in them. It adds a touch of simplicity to all flower arrangements.
For a simple rustic touch, you can tie doilies around the silverware arrangements and knot it off with twine. I found a pack of 36 paper doilies at Michael's for two dollars and the entire process took me 10 seconds per setting.
Make a classy table centerpiece in under five minutes and under $10. I found a glass vase at Goodwill for three dollars. Scour Goodwill for your perfect vases and fill them a third of the way with white sugar. Place a white candle in the center and sprinkle loose white pearls around the edges. This is the perfect centerpiece for winter weddings.
SPLURGE ON THE BOOZE
That's right, friends, don't skimp on the open bar. Alcohol will make your reception the best reception. It warms people up and makes it seem less embarrassing to dance their asses off.
But in addition, try adding some unique touches. There are three levels of craftiness: expert, mediocre and inept. But the crafts featured in this piece are perfect for even the most inept of crafty minds. Trust me when I say that if I can do these, you can, too.
Shopping is your friend. But keep it local and shop small. The Small Mall on Mass Ave. is three stories tall, so not small at all. Regardless, it is the perfect place to find unique wedding decor that most other weddings won't have.
GET DIRTY
What better place to find nature than — nature?
Warm-weather outdoor locales abound. A little research, a call or two to Indiana's more scenic parks, and you may find the perfect natural backdrop for your nuptials.
If you find a branch from a birch tree, you've just hit the centerpiece jackpot. It's the perfect size for rectangular table centerpieces. Cut holes in the log the size of tea candles. Space them an inch and a half apart. Place the tea candles, light them, and then you can successfully say you spent three dollars for centerpieces. And I can guarantee you that realization will make you feel great.
Finally, if you like booze, that's great! But don't recycle those bottles just yet. Paint them or tie burlap around them or use them for vases or use them for decorations. Alcohol is your friend, people.
NETWORK
Because social media allows us to reconnect with old friends, odds are pretty good you know folks with sewing or photo skills. Know a videographer who owes you one? Someone who can adapt an inexpensive dress to your liking? Is either a fan of a good bottle of Scotch? Don't be afraid to barter — and check with your extended family, too. Maybe your Aunt Betty is pretty handy with a DSLR camera.
And hey, if you don't like the ideas I've provided for you, scour Pinterest—it's wedding planning central. There are millions of other DIY crafting ideas. Make an account and find what's right for you.

Happy planning, party people.

Refusing to host a lesbian wedding cost this farm $13,000

Robert and Cynthia Gifford say that refusing to allow a lesbian couple to marry on their property was not a form of sexual orientation-based discrimination. But a New York appellate court unanimously disagrees.
This week, all five judges in a New York federal court agreed to uphold a ruling from New York State Division of Human Rights, which found the Giffords guilty of discrimination and ordered them to pay a $10,000 fine and $3,000 in damages to the now-married couple, Melisa and Jennie McCarthy.
"This decision not only recognizes how discrimination has affected the two of us, it also helps to protect others from being targeted by the same type of discrimination," said the McCarthys, who were represented by the New York Civil Liberties Union, in joint statement. "We are pleased that this difficult experience has been able to set further precedent that discrimination is unacceptable, and grateful that going forward other couples will be less likely to have the joy of their wedding planning tarnished by discrimination."
The McCarthys contacted the Giffords in 2012, hoping to host their wedding ceremony and reception at Liberty Ridge, a working farm in upstate New York that has previously hosted opposite-sex wedding ceremonies. When the McCarthys were told Liberty Ridge did not host same-sex ceremonies, they filed a complaint with the Division of Human Rights.
While same-sex couples can get married in any state in the U.S., New York is one of only 21 states that grant antidiscrimination protections to LGBT citizens, according to the Human Rights Campaign. Had the Giffords farm been in Pennsylvania, Michigan, or Kentucky, they would not have violated any laws by denying services to same-sex couples.
The Giffords' legal team, the conservative Alliance Defending Freedom, argued that their decision to refuse the McCarthys was "based solely upon the Giffords' religious beliefs regarding same-sex marriage," not their sexual orientation, according to court documents. The justices said that they're one in the same.
"Such attempts to distinguish between a protected status and conduct closely correlated with that status have been soundly rejected," Justice Karen Peters wrote in the ruling.
The Giffords' defense team also argued that since the farm was part of the pair's private property, it was not considered a public accommodation for which LGBT discrimination is illegal. But the court didn't find weight to that argument either, as heterosexual couples are free to marry on their property.

Since the McCarthys filed charges against the Giffords, Liberty Ridge has stopped hosting wedding ceremonies, but still host wedding receptions, which they say are equally open to same-sex and opposite-sex couples.

Ten couples set to wed in $5,000 pop-up wedding

Chaela Hall said her best friend knows she’s “adventurous and into doing crazy things.” It’s why she sent her an article about a new bridal trend coming to New York City in March — a group pop-up wedding.
Hall, who got engaged to her boyfriend of two years Aaron Smith last September, said she signed up for a luxury pop-up wedding experience without even checking with her fiancé first.
“It was something different, unconventional and that’s pretty much how our relationship is so I said, why not?” Hall, 36, told ABC News.
And her fiancé didn’t mind.
“I was in,” Smith, 39, said. “I trust her. And I’m pretty adventurous and spontaneous so I’m always down for some exciting fun event.”
The two will be one of 10 couples participating in PopBliss on March 30-31 in New York City. The two-day event, being held at a secret location in the Big Apple, features three events. First, couples will be greeted at a welcome party the day before the main event. And on their wedding day, they’ll wake up to separate brunches. Next, they’ll head to a suite where they’ll get the full Hollywood treatment — hair and makeup. Next is the pop-up wedding, where each couple walks down the aisle and exchanges vows separately. The couple can invite 14 guests to the surprise affair.
Hall said the event, curated by wedding planner Racquel Kristi, worked for her and Smith, who are both residents of Maryland.
“We were planning on going to the Justice of the Peace (at City Hall) and now everyone gets to participate and share in our adventure and this new path we’re going to take,” she said. “It’ll create another memory with something we’ll never forget.”
Still, she admitted that there are downsides to a pop-up wedding. Their four children under the age of 12 from previous relationships won’t be there to witness the event.
“They understand that they’ll still be able to cheer mommy and daddy on without actually physically being in the room,” Hall said, noting that the event will be live-streamed for those not included in the tally.
Kristi, 33, told ABC News she’s planned several pop-up weddings in the past, but “nothing like this.”
She’s gone to great lengths to keep the events a surprise.
“We have everyone sign non-disclosure agreements and 72 hours before the event we disclose (the location) to certain vendors, …and some vendors receive the information the day of,” she said.
So how much does it cost to participate in PopBliss? $5,000, Kristi said. Wedding dress and tuxedo not included.
“It includes all the elements of a standard wedding: photographer, videographer, hair, makeup, cake, bouquet, entertainment, catering, open bar, the works,” she said.
It could be a deal for cash-strapped couples. According to a survey by The Knot, the average wedding in 2014 cost $31,213 — an all-time high.

“And couples aren’t stressed with the planning process,” Kristi added.

10 Tasteful Wedding Ideas for Sports Fanatics

Teamwork makes the dream (wedding) work! Score major points with the hubs and knock your wedding plans out of the park by injecting a little team spirit into your big day — in the chicest way possible, of course. These sports-inspired wedding ideas are guaranteed to win over the crowd and give you and your guests something (else) to cheer about.
1. The Food
Skip the stuffy rehearsal dinner and model your pre-wedding party after a high-end tailgate — complete with your favorite food trucks, booze and sports team friendly decor, suggests Chancey Charm Richmondwedding planner and coordinator Alana Futcher. You can also incorporate your favorite game-time snacks by serving them up stadium style for your guests to enjoy as a late night treat before your send off, addsChancey Charm Charlotte planner Miranda Tassi. Um, nachos and sliders, anyone!?
2. The Program
Real bride Morgan Haile of Morgan Taylor Lacquer is tying the knot to former pro-baseball player Tony Gonzalez next year and definitely plans on tying in the whole sports theme. Instead of traditional wedding programs, theirs will be designed to look like a game program with pictures of the duo and bridal partymembers in them. So cute.
3. The Cake
The groom's cake is a given (score!), but if a full blown sports-themed cake won't make the cut, Jessica Janik, Founder of The Invisible Bridesmaid, has another, more understated idea. "Have the inside of your wedding cake dyed to match your team so that when you cut into it, it bleeds the team colors."
4. The Color Scheme
Rather than plaster your reception with team gear, Phoenix, Arizona-based wedding planner Chandra Keel, owner of Chandra Keel Events, advises couples to incorporate layers of subtly that show off their team loyalty. "For example, Packers fans can choose lots of greenery, like eucalyptus or tropical palm branches, for centerpieces and accent it with gold. Or, opt for bouquets of green and yellow mums." If your team colors aren't exactly wedding-friendly, she recommends using the colors as an accent to white, which always looks elegant.
5. The Guestbook
If you're a diehard fan of a baseball team, for instance, have your guests sign baseballs in place of a traditional guestbook, suggests Keel. "Hockey fan? Let them sign a hockey stick." One groom Lynn Jawitz, owner of Florisan Wedding and Event Design in NYC, worked with actually worked for the Cincinnati Reds and had guests sign his baseball jersey (later to be framed) with sharpies.
6. The Accessories
Think monogrammed cufflinks and colorful team socks for the guys. As for the bride, not many people will actually see your garter so if you want to have one that's in your favorite team's colors (or your husband's), go for it, urges wedding planner Kelli Corn of Kelli Corn Weddings & Events.
7. The Photo Booth
Take one for the team, and turn your photo booth into a game...well, sort of! Celebrity event designer Brett Galley of Hollywood POP recommends stocking your photo booth full of fun sports-themed props and/or having each guest create their own sports magazine cover as their photo favor.
8. The Wedding Monogram
If you both root for the same team, why not consider a subtle use of the logo for your wedding monogram? "While it's true that team logos are predominantly made up of thick block letters and wedding monograms are typically swirly and romantic, a combination of both design elements can successfully be achieved by a talented graphic designer," says Florida-based wedding planner Aviva Samuels of Kiss The Planner. And the applications for it are literally endless! "It can be utilized as a light projection on the dance floor or walls, on stationary items such as menus and seating cards, as well as beverage napkins and signage."
9. The Favors, Table Numbers, and Escort Cards
Mini basketballs, footballs, etc. branded with your team's name are always a fun idea for favors. As forescort cards, these can actually be designed to look like tickets to the big game. Get creative with your tables and use the jersey numbers of your favorite players (or their names) to label them.
10. The Signature Drinks

In the south (where college football reigns supreme), wedding planner Tracie Domino, founder of Tracie Domino Events, tells us that rarely does a wedding go by without an alma mater somehow incorporated into it. One idea she's a big fan of is either naming your signature drinks after your favorite teams or having them served in your team colors, something your guests can definitely enjoy!

Couple plans to wear wedding dress, tuxedo to Panthers game after weekend wedding

A Charlotte couple is planning a special wedding weekend by getting married on Saturday and a trip to watch the Panthers in playoff action Sunday - in their wedding attire.
Kevin Vaughan and his fiancee, Jennifer Karon, both moved to Charlotte several years ago, separately, to be closer to family.
"Both of our families started to think of both of us as forever single," Vaughn joked. "My grandmother told me that she just assumed I was going to be a bachelor for life."
A chance encounter on a night out with friends changed the course of his life.
Vaughn has just officiated the wedding of a friend, when a group from the wedding decided to go out for night on the town in uptown Charlotte.
Meanwhile, a girl named Jennifer had friends in town and the group wanted to go to a bar with no cover charge.
The pair ended up at the same place.
"Jennifer was kind of standing off to the side near the dance floor," Vaughn recalls. He decided to approach her and the two hit it off. "She said I seemed safe," he joked.
Within a few weeks, Jennifer had him involved in a 5K run.
"I'd never run before. I'd never thought about running before," he said. "But that's what she does. She makes me want to be better - my health and as a person."
The couple joined with several running clubs and eventually ran several times a week with the NoDa running club. Afterward, they would go play trivia.
After dating a while, the pair began to talk about marriage and their future.
"Everyone thought I was going to propose on a cruise we were going on together, but Jennifer said she wanted to be surprised when it happened," Vaughn said. "So I did it after one of our group runs before Valentine's Day."
He made sure that his shoe would be untied at the end of the run, so that he could bend down and propose.
Because the city means so much to the pair, they decided to have the wedding in uptown Charlotte.
"When we saw Roof with a View, we knew it was the perfect place," Vaughn said. "The view of Charlotte is perfect. If we are going to have people come to Charlotte to be part of our wedding, we want them to enjoy the view."
It doesn't hurt that the venue is right next to the Bank of America Stadium.
The wedding date was set before the Panthers 2015-16 schedule was released.
The first thing Vaughn, who has been buying season tickets from a friend with a PSL for a couple of years, noticed was the second week of the playoffs. Wedding weekend.
"When I realized at the beginning of the season that it was possible for a playoff game to be across the street from us on our wedding day, I talked with Jennifer about still going to the game, wearing our tux and dress," he said. "It was an outside chance, I told her. We'd basically have to win almost every game in order for it to happen. She agreed to it. She's a big fan, and at the time it seemed like maybe a 1% chance of happening."
"Every week we told more and more people and I begged everyone to keep cheering harder, and every week the Panthers came out and kept pounding their way to win after win," he said. "She agreed initially because it was a long shot. I thought the closer it came to being reality that she'd come back and say 'no,' but she kept cheering them on."
Luckily for the couple, the game was scheduled for Sunday, instead of Saturday.
"Now we'll be able to enjoy the entire game for the first day of our honeymoon, instead of squeezing in a quarter at most before having to run off to the venue," Vaughn said.
But the couple still plans to be at the game - wedding dress, tuxedo and all.
"Starting our honeymoon off by cheering the Panthers on to their win," Vaughn said.
Is he more nervous about the wedding or game?
"Neither. We have a great group of people helping us make sure the wedding is great - all Ts crossed and all Is dotted," he said. "And the Panthers aren't going to have any trouble beating the Seahawks."

After the game, the couple plans to head down to Charleston for a mini-honeymoon and then plan to take a bigger honeymoon later in the year.

I Paid $66 for My Wedding Dress and the World Didn’t End

I didn’t want a wedding. I’m not saying that to be cool or to prove how not-basic I am, but I’d never been one to dream about bigger-than-yours diamonds, strapless white gowns, and a stable of girlfriends in matching dresses. In fact, I wasn’t sure I was even sold on the idea of marriage at all. I wasn’t steadfastly opposed, but I would have been more than happy to remain in a committed relationship with my boyfriend, Adam, and not do the wedding thing. However, when he proposed in 2011, I said yes because I loved him and because I knew how important it was to him to make it official. I said hell no, though, to a traditional wedding and all its trappings.
I won’t bore you with the drama that ensued—basically, my no-wedding plan was overruled, as was my plea for a teeny-tiny dinner. I wasn’t thrilled, but—as a logical adult—I understood that our families and my husband-to-be wanted to celebrate in a bigger way than 20 people sitting around a restaurant. And, frankly, I didn’t care enough to control the whole thing. But guess what I could control? What I wore to the celebration. But instead of focusing all my energy on the dress, I did the opposite: Didn’t give a fuck and kept telling everyone who asked “I’m sure I’ll find something!”
I flat-out refused with a capital R to step foot in a single wedding salon, no matter how “cool” or “indie” or “chill” it fancied itself. I knew for a fact I didn’t want to wear a dress designed specifically for a wedding, nor did I want to deal with salespeople who no doubt wouldn’t be amused by my blasé attitude and my unwillingness to say yes to any dress.
Plus, I was—logically, I thought—opposed to spending a ton of money on a garment I’d wear once. To each their own, but I wanted to treat what I wore less like a magical, princess-for-day experience, and more like an outfit that looked good on me for what’s sure to be a fabulous but five-hour night. That’s shorter than a work day, to put it in perspective.
My abject noncompliance placed me in a tough spot. I knew I needed to show up in something decent, but had absolutely no interest in bopping around to stores—even stores I liked—looking for it.
Since I had no interest in hunting, I decided I’d buy some fabric and find an inexpensive seamstress to stitch me up the style I was starting to envision: a super-silky, long-sleeve wrap dress. Something that would look great but also effortless at New York’s Bowery Hotel on a Saturday night in August. Yes, I’m aware now this classifies as having a dress made, which is just as annoying as shopping for one.
When I decided that was the plan, I asked an emerging designer whom I’d interviewed a year before and become sort of friendly with to suggest a local seamstress or tailor he particularly liked. That’s where things kind of fell apart: The designer told me he’d like to create the dress himself. This was a problem for a few reasons.
One, he told me he was eventually planning to launch bridal in addition to ready-to-wear, and wanted to test the waters. I didn’t feel comfortable being a guinea pig because I didn’t want a “wedding dress” and felt he wouldn’t want to lend his name to the simplicity I envisioned. Two, I didn’t want to make the process a thing but felt I couldn’t say no, and thought it might be the easiest and chicest route in the long run. Showing at New York Fashion Week had to count for something, right?
The details that followed don’t need to be recounted in full, but I will say the dress was a hot mess, and for that we were both at fault. I wasn’t nearly as assertive as I should have been. I nodded and shrugged at the sketches, assumed the result would be better than the first two versions I saw, and tried on a third draft that was so uncharacteristically low-cut and massively unflattering that I started tearing up when I looked in the mirror. But I still didn’t demand we start from scratch.
After leaving his studio—more depressed about the way I perceived my body in the dress than the fact my wedding was in 12 days—I called the designer up and told him it wasn’t working for me, and I’d be happy to pay for the fabric but I no longer wanted the dress. He wasn’t thrilled—not that I blame him.
It was around this time that a little bit of panic kicked in, but I was still convinced I’d find something, somewhere. I spent a particularly stressful 48 hours flicking through dresses at Barneys, Saks, Derek Lam, J.Crew, Phillip Lim, and about 100 other stores on Fifth Avenue and in SoHo, also overnighting a random assortment of dresses from Net-A-Porter and Shopbop. Nothing.
Then, nine days before the wedding, I casually mentioned to my mom that I had a 30 percent press discount card to Lord & Taylor, a store we had nothing against, but never really shopped in. When she suggested we check it out because time, I agreed. We weren’t in the evening department more than 15 minutes when we saw a silky floor-length white dress with a pale-pink sash and a glitzy feather off-the-shoulder top. It was fun, a little kooky, and looked like something I’d wear anyway.
When I tried it on, it fit like a glove, save for an extra few inches at the bottom. Turns out, it was past-season BCBG, and it was on sale for just under $300. Done.
We took the dress up to the register, both psyched. Me because this nonsense was over, her because she didn’t have to deal with my aversion to everything bridal anymore.
“$66.80,” the cashier said. My mom and I glanced at each other, confused. Turns out the dress wasn’t only on sale, it was on clearance and my press discount applied, making the grand total less than the cabs we’d taken that day.
Now for the irony: The wedding ended up getting canceled the day-of—thanks, Hurricane Irene!—and rebooked for two months later. Other girls would have used that extra time to find something else, but I was thrilled that I’d found something I really liked, even if it wasn’t a “dream dress” by definition, and all I had to do was throw it on and show up, which I did on October 15.
My dress was a hit, and once I had it on, I pretty much forgot it existed and was able to eat, drink, and dance as if I were out on any other night.
Do I gaze at photos and feel grateful that the dress managed to stand the test of time? Nope, but who cares? I’m not afraid to admit that my personal style changes all the time, and I don’t think women have to morph into Audrey Hepburn prototypes just because they’re brides. I loved it at the time and still do, for what it was.
Plus, after some googling, I learned Amy Poehler wore the same dress in a shoot for The Hollywood Reporter, so some stylist, somewhere approved.

I recently read that Oscar de la Renta proclaimed the wedding gown to be “the most important dress in the life of a woman,” but I respectfully have to disagree with the late, great designer. I prefer to look ahead when it comes to my clothes, and don’t consider my wedding dress any more important than the one I plan to wear out this Saturday night, and I’m perfectly fine with that.

Include subtle (or not) humor to wedding party play list

Getting married — if you decide to throw an actual wedding rather than going down to the courthouse — is a process that requires the people involved to develop some preferences.
Even if you have next to no feelings about flower arrangements, cake toppers or linen colors, you will at some point be required to make a selection. One area where you probably have some preexisting opinions, though, no matter how anti-Pinterest you are, is music.
But one of the things I discovered while planning my upcoming wedding, and that was particularly true for me as a critic who pays a lot of attention to text, whether lyrics or dialogue, is that it’s much more fun to come up with wildly inappropriate wedding songs than to pick out tasteful ones. Here are nine of my favorites (you can make it 10 with “The Rains of Castamere” from “Game of Thrones,” which by this point is just far too obvious).
• “Band of Gold” by Freda Payne: A lot of terrific songs are on this list, whether you’re judging by wedding-inappropriate lyrics or just overall musical quality. But it’s impossible to imagine one that would garner a higher combined score in both categories than Freda Payne’s harrowing track about a wedding gone disastrously wrong.
• “Rent” by the Pet Shop Boys: Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe have recorded some terrific love songs, among them “Home and Dry.” But I absolutely adore it when they spike their meticulously crafted pop music with poisonous lyrics. Part of the genius of the song is the way it goes back and forth on how much the narrator knows and how much he’s hiding from himself.
• “Don’t Marry Her” by the Beautiful South: After two exceedingly upsetting songs, it makes sense to mix things up a bit with this exceedingly cheeky track. “Don’t Marry Her” comes to us not just from the perspective of the other woman, but from a woman who would like to remain the mistress.
• “Baby, I’m an Anarchist” by Against Me!: One of my dear friends from college introduced me to Against Me! through this song, and I am not going to lie, it could double as the best song to play at a wedding or the worst. The whole second verse basically functions as a rejection of a marriage proposal that ends with a snarled “No I won’t take your hand / And marry the state.” It’s dark and funny, simultaneously mocking the self-righteousness of people who live their lives by completely rigid principle, while also arguing fairly sincerely that real love is impossible without political solidarity.
• “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift: I badly miss the Taylor Swift who wrote and sang country songs. But this self-aware, self-parodying track from her latest album is just fantastic. It’s chock-full of crazy. So maybe it’s the perfect cautionary tale for a wedding, or at least the modern wedding-industrial complex, after all.
• “Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed” by Kinky Friedman: I’m not going to lie: Interviewing Kinky Friedman during his Texas gubernatorial run was one of the stranger experiences I’ve had as an entertainment journalist. But I still love this hilarious parody of confused male responses to feminism, which might be a deeply amusing thing to play at a bridal shower.
• “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues: This is a Christmas song, rather than anything explicitly about marriage or romance. But the conversation between a drunken couple who are hashing out the misery of their relationship in a jail’s drunk tank is an alternately chilly and cheery journey through the processes by which people convince themselves to settle.
• “Snow in Sun” by Scritti Politti: The Pogues are serious players when it comes to emotionally manipulative pop songs.”Snow in Sun” is a set of vows made by a guy you desperately wish wouldn’t try to pledge himself to you.

• “Runaway” by Kanye West: It’s, in extended form, an eight-minute conjuration of the kind of wedding toast where someone makes the deeply unwise decision to unburden himself or herself to the assembled guests.

A shotgun wedding highlighted 2015

Northwest Louisiana put together an interesting year from an outdoor standpoint with a number of significant happenings in 2015.
There was the good: Toledo Bend was named the No. 1 bass fishing lake in the country by BassmasterMagazine, Benton ruled in the National Archery in Schools Program once again and the top 10 fisheries in the area were named.
There was also some bad: The Red River jumped out of its banks, a potential Caddo Parish gun ordinance caused a stir, while David Parker and Jim Clark Jr. were among the outdoor enthusiasts who moved on.
Here’s a look back at three stories that stuck out in 2015:
Local couple marries at Martin’s Gun Shop
Some Saturday morning nuptials in southeast Shreveport may have redefined the term “shotgun” wedding, while offering up some entertainment of the redneck variety.
When Ricky Martin (not the singer) and Beverly Brooke (the singer from London) decided to get hitched in the states, they opted to make the move at Martin’s Gun Shop on Kay Drive, owned by Ricky’s dad. Henry Martin no longer sells guns, but he does expert repair on shotguns and there were plenty on hand inside the store, if a need arose.
How this wedding came to be is a miracle in itself and can be laid to rest on the heavily tattooed shoulders of Tammy Martin, sister of the groom and best friend of the bride. Dating a member of the 69 Eyes rock band in Finland, Tammy met Brooke on Facebook and decided to visit her a couple of years ago in London. The two became fast friends, so when Tammy returned stateside, Brooke came along for the ride.
“She didn’t know she was pregnant at the time,” Tammy said. “Brooke went back to London, but her family threw her out. She was homeless on the streets of London.”
But as luck would have it, Brooke found a $20 bill, or maybe it was a 20-pound piece, on the street. She called her U.S. friend to tell her the news.
“I told her to go to the race track and bet on the gray horse,” Tammy said. “She did that and won $1,500. She used the money to buy a plane ticket and come back here. God was taking care of her.”
But that’s not nearly “the rest of the story.” Tammy developed breast cancer, had a mastectomy and has undergone chemo and radiation. Although she’s doing well enough now to consider moving to Finland, Tammy got the shock of her life when she was released from the hospital. She discovered that her 55-year-old brother and 35-year-old best friend were dating.
“I thought they were kidding,” she said.
Ricky proposed in February, Brooke accepted and Tammy began making plans for the wedding. Since Ricky was recently laid off from his job, a barebones wedding was in order.
“They were looking for a place and I told them they ought to just have it at my shop,” Henry Martin said. “We could put up some tents and there’s plenty of parking at the Lodge across the street.”
So, Martin’s Gun Shop, which has been around since the muskets were brought over on the Mayflower, became the landing spot for the 60 or so folks who came to celebrate with the family on the memorable day.
Finding something borrowed and blue for the wedding wasn’t a problem. The wedding decorations of turquoise and orange were “recycled” from Amy and Shane Trichel’s wedding from a couple of weeks ago.
Brooke was tastefully dressed in a cream dress with turquoise sash and a sleeveless denim jacket. Like the rest of the bridal party, she wore brown cowboy boots, but had trouble deciding on a topper.
“I have two ‘ats and I’m not sure which to choose,” she said with a look of concern. “And I’m a bit nervous.”
The ceremony was conducted by Judge Barbara Douget, who wasted little time once she took the reins.
“We’re gonna make this quick, because it’s hot out here,” said Douget, who recently oversaw a wedding in front of the fish tanks at the Bass Pro Shops.
And quick it was. Once the words and rings were exchanged and the kiss was planted, Douget pronounced the couple “Mr. and Mrs. Ricky Martin.” Beverly instantly became and U.S. citizen who can now sing country music, while Ricky continues to stay clear of all microphones.
Appropriately, the post-wedding meal was catfish with all the trimmings, cooked by Trichel and Dillion Twohig, and served under several quickly erected tents.
Following a honeymoon trip to Eldorado Casino in Shreveport, the couple, along with 2-year-old Henry Brooke, were expected to reside at the Broadmoor home Henry.
Susie Boniol looked out her kitchen window in south Bossier’s Olde Oaks Subdivision one May day and what to her wondering eyes did she see but one giant alligator threatening her black lab.
It took just a matter of seconds for the demonstrative Boniol to scoop up Mingo and her three children making sure they were safely tucked away inside their home. The Boniol abode is located on one of the ponds surrounding Olde Oaks Golf Course, which offers “27 holes of outstanding golf,” according to the company website, along with gators in the 10-foot range.
“What frightened me was that it was hiding here in plain sight and it was huge,” Boniol said. “It had been swimming in the 3-1/2 acre pond, but it came up on our property. I hate to think what could have happened.”
Boniol called Wildlife Refuge in south Bossier and a representative there told her to get in contact with the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries to file and official nuisance complaint. Since it was after 5 p.m., she had trouble reaching an LDWF agent or biologist but finally got through on a special hotline number.
Given the complaint number she needed, Boniol contacted a nuisance animal removal specialist who offered “a ton of information” she needed.
“He came out the next day and said it was a male gator and that it had been circling in the pond looking for its next meal,” Boniol said.
Home owners in Olde Oaks own 14 feet into the water, according to Boniol, and her family regularly uses their pier area for fishing, boating and swimming. That might not happen again for the foreseeable future, since she believes more gators may be lurking in the depths of the unnamed pond.
Anyone with a nuisance alligator problem should be aware that alligators aren’t relocated, because no one wants them in their backyard, whether it’s a camp on Lake Bistineau or their residence on Cross Lake. Folks water skiing on the Red River don’t like seeing them either. But their meat makes and tasty meal and their skin can be turned into some pretty good boots, so harvesting them has its uses.
All Boniol knows is she doesn’t want any more gators in her backyard threatening her children or the family pet.
“We have a massive nutria rat problem on the pond, so it’s like a gator buffet,” she said. “There are also some overgrown empty lots, too.”
A baited hook was set up, similar to your favorite “Swamp People” episode, the 10-foot, 2-inch gator took the bait and was harvested.
Although the same wasn’t true for his razor and his barber, David Parker was never far from his time-tested Thermos of coffee, according to longtime friend George Hodges, currently in charge of the prized possession.
But more on the Thermos later.
Hodges remembers the first time he saw Parker, who passed away on in March due to a heart ailment, at a bass fishing tournament on Lake Bistineau in the mid-1980s.
“This guy was standing in front of me with seven of the biggest fish you ever saw on a stringer – probably 4 to 7 pounds each,” Hodges said chuckling. “His beard was down to his waist, his hair was down to his shoulders and he didn’t have any teeth. He looked like someone who had just come in out of the swamp.”
The pair would end up fishing together for 21 years, winning at least a half-dozen bass boats, but the fishing marriage wasn’t without an audition.
“Both of our regular partners had decided to quit tournament fishing, so I went to David and asked if he’d like to join up,” Hodges said. “He thought about it for a few minutes and then said, ‘let’s go fishing this weekend and we’ll see.’ I guess David wanted to interview me to see how I did.”
Fishing for money was never what David Parker was about – not that the veteran angler of North Louisiana fisheries didn’t capture his share of money before being diagnosed with Asian cancer in 2010. Parker eventually beat the disease, but his heart couldn’t survive the trauma. Services are set for later this week.
Whether he was fishing with Hodges, Gary Yelverton or Cindy Camus Pruett in a Thursday Night Tournament, Parker was always in contention on just about any body of water. He loved Cross Lake so much that he and longtime girlfriend Joan Mayfield-Parker were married on Jan. 8 under the lake’s pavilion, donated and built by Bass Life Associates in his name. Parker wasn’t hasty in making decisions, however. It took him over 23 years to ask Mayfield for her hand.
“David was pretty conservative and patient,” Hodges said. “I learned a lot about patience in fishing from him.”
He was also a tough cookie. Berney Bracken played football with Parker at Fair Park in the early 1960s.
“He was a little bitty fellow –probably not even 150 pounds, but he played offensive guard and he went up against guys weighing 230-240 pounds,” Bracken said. “What he lacked in size, he made up for in meanness.”
Parker was charter member of Bass Life Associates and was staple at that group’s Youth Fishing Tournament on Cross Lake every year. He also worked the Get Hooked on Fishing (Not Drugs) event annually on Caddo Lake. He was a guy who gave back a lot more than he took.
"David has probably fished in thousands of bass tournaments and he's never said 'no' to anyone in need,” said fishing buddy Dallas Miller, who often drove him for chemo treatments. “If there was a benefit bass tournament being held, he was always there."
Parker’s battle with cancer nearly came to an end in 2011 when a group of friends held a bass tournament to help with his mounting medical costs. He had lost his massive locks of blond hair and a long beard to match, thanks to the radiation and chemo treatments, but he had his priorities in order.
While talking with The Times at that event, Parker broke down when asked what his prognosis might be.
"Just tell everyone that I love them," he said. "I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and if he has room on the road of gold, I'll go walking with him."
Hodges said Parker acquired the red, one-quart Thermos, which survived a multitude of fishing trips across Northwest Louisiana, before they became fishing partners. His friend drank coffee “all day and half the night,” refusing to give it up for a new one. It had been Duck-taped together, hot glued and even reconstituted with epoxy at one point.
“But at the end of the day, you could still get a cup of hot coffee out of it,” Hodges said. “It was old and beat up, but it was dependable.
“And that’s a lot like my friend.”
Jim Clark taught his son about winning
Saturday’s funeral service at Shreveport’s University Church of Christ, honoring the late Jim Clark Jr., got off to a rousing start under the direction of longtime friend Curtis Shipley.
“It speaks to Jim’s sense of humor that he picked an ol’ country boy like me to conduct his funeral,” Shipley said to some chuckles. “If it’s too redneck, it’s Jim’s fault – and you can take it up with him the next time you see him.”
In front of a nearly full auditorium of friends, fans and family members, Shipley talked about the multi-talented Clark, who was magical with all three firearm disciplines – handguns, shotguns, rifles – was even more adept at creating firearms that changed the course of competitive shooting.
Clark did that with a grace and humility often unmatched in the industry. Although he rarely lost in a sport he spent several decades as a world-class competitor, he knew how to win and he how to lose. Sometimes he won to lose, something he passed on to sons JEC and Logan, who relayed a lesson he learned from his dad.
Logan had just won the 2004 regional sporting clay championships in Shreveport, the first of his own awards. He was waiting for the scores to be posted when Jim said it was time to head home.
“Wait a minute. We’re going home already? I won,” a confused Logan said.
“That’s right, you did. And you did good,” Jim said. “But who got second? That person over there in the corner crying.”
It was a 13-year-old boy who had been looking forward to the match for a long time.
“I looked at my dad and understood. At that moment I learned that some things were more important than winning,” Logan said. “My dad always taught me there was just one competitor you needed to worry about at a match and that was yourself.
“One thing my dad loved more than winning matches was passing his knowledge on to my brother and myself.”
Clark also had a pilot’s license although Shipley said he never had the opportunity to fly with his friend.
“Jim didn’t die in a plane crash, so I’d say he was pretty good,” Shipley joked.
Whether he was creating one of his masterpieces or competing for a noteworthy title, Shipley said at least one thing was unclear about Jim Clark Jr.

“When he was holding a rifle, did it become part of him or did he become part of it? I just know that together they could play some pretty good music.”

'Hate wedding' video offers glimpse at Jewish terror

The head of the Samaria Regional Council, Yossi Dagan, is one of the most powerful people in the Likud's Central Committee. Together with a group of local council heads in Judea and Samaria, he appealed to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Dec. 27, asking him to investigate claims by detained minors that they had been tortured by the Shin Bet. These minors are suspected of torching the house of the Dawabsha family in the West Bank village of Douma on July 31.
“We call on you to prevent the entire State of Israel from being dragged down that path until it becomes the kind of regime in which the investigator is also judge and executioner,” they wrote, asking the authorities to catch the “real” perpetrators of the deadly crime.
Dagan used Facebook to update his followers about his appeal to the prime minister. By doing so, he signaled support for the extreme right’s campaign against the Shin Bet, accusing the government agency of using torture to extract confessions from the Douma detainees.
The campaign organized raucous demonstrations and applied massive pressure to politicians aligned with the settlers to de-legitimize the Shin Bet. Nevertheless, it all screeched to a halt, largely because of the firm positions taken by HaBayit HaYehudi Chairman Naftali Bennett and the party’s powerful woman, Justice Minister Ayelet Shaked. Both of them expressed unequivocal support for the Shin Bet. The Yesha Council, the umbrella settlement organization, also published a statement in support of the Shin Bet.
In press interviews, Bennett and Shaked both stated that they had investigated the detainees’ claims of torture themselves. They said that not only was there no truth to these claims, they were also shocked by intelligence reports shared with them about how certain groups on the extreme right plotted to undermine the very foundations of the state.
But the death blow to this campaign of lies against the Shin Bet was undoubtedly the “hate wedding” video clip. The clip, aired Dec. 23 by Channel 10, shows wedding guests dancing with assault rifles held aloft and some of them stabbing a photo of baby Ali Dawabsha. In just two chilling minutes, the clip revealed the full extent of the danger posed by Jewish terrorism and the enormous urgency of the task facing the Shin Bet.
It's futile to search for any condemnation of the “hate wedding” on Dagan’s Facebook page. There wasn’t a single good word about the Shin Bet, either, as of Dec. 27. On the other hand, Dagan did write a post in support of Welfare Minister Haim Katz, who is running for chairman of the Likud Central Committee. Dagan wrote that he endorsed Katz in gratitude for the support the minister has offered to the cause of Jewish settlement in Judea and Samaria.
Over the past few years, feral extremism has evolved within the settlements, in the form of the hilltop youth and other radical organizations that reject the very existence of the State of Israel. And so, when investigating the sources of this disturbing phenomenon and the environment in which it was born, it is worth pausing for a moment on Dagan. He is, after all, a rising political star in Israeli public life. Although he is only 35, his influence over thousands of Likud voters makes him one of the most sought-after people in the party.
A ​Haaretz profile of him that appeared Nov. 14 describes his activities in the years before he dedicated himself to his current public political life. Dagan was a founder of the group “Homesh First,” devoted to repeated attempts to resettle the outpost in northern Samaria that was evacuated as part of the Gaza Disengagement Plan in 2005. He is also a founder of the Samaria Settlers’ Committee, a group whose objectives include “aiding the residents of Samaria in their struggle against any possible assault on Jewish settlement in Samaria, through various means.”
In 2008, the two groups released a public statement titled “Mutual Responsibility: The Key to Victory.” The statement was really a manual on how to resist Israeli security forces, referred to as the “forces of destruction,” when they attempt to evacuate illegal outposts.
Dagan is now a major political figure with considerable influence on right-wing settlers. A sharp statement by him in response to the “hate wedding” video certainly could have helped put a stop to that horrific phenomenon, especially at this important juncture. He may yet do that, but for now, Dagan is too busy with something that is far more important to him personally. He is involved in the political intrigue within the ruling party, designed to bring about the election of Katz as chairman of the Likud Central Committee. Success there would give the settlers even more power in the highest echelons of government.
It is unclear whether Defense Minister Moshe Ya’alon was referring to Dagan in a seething interview he gave Dec. 26 to the Israeli Channel 2 program “Meet the Press.” In it, he called on influential figures on the right and in the religious Zionist movement to do some soul-searching in light of the recent revelations. In any case, that seemed to have been his intention when he said, “When we blink at questions about the rule of law, about illegal construction and personal attacks, against me, for example … even by other ministers and Knesset members. … And when the Supreme Court comes under fire, young people who see things in black and white will conclude that it is legitimate to throw rocks and bags of urine at the police … and to puncture the tires of police cars.”
Ya’alon was obviously referring to the leaders of HaBayit HaYehudi. He meant Education Minister Naftali Bennett, who was on site during the evacuation of the Dreinoff buildings of the Beit El settlement, and to Minister of Agriculture Uri Ariel, who has called for the Shin Bet division that handles Jewish terrorism to be dissolved. And Ya’alon was talking about Knesset members such as Bezalel Smotrich, who declared that the Douma arson was not an act of terror, and Motti Yogev, who recently suggested that the Supreme Court be bulldozed.
Ya’alon’s comments struck at the heart of the issue. Jewish terrorism is just as much a consequence of the overall mood in the settlements as it is of anything else. Without insinuating anything about religious Zionism as a movement, it is impossible to ignore the fact that statements and actions in defiance of the state and the rule of law, such as the de-legitimation of the justice system, the uprooting of trees in Palestinian villages and illegal settlement construction have all become commonplace. Even worse, statements in that vein are interpreted and translated by young people into violent acts.
It may be just a few dozen young people associated with the hilltop youth who are behind the price tag attacks and celebrate the murder of a sleeping infant. Nevertheless, they cannot be considered apart from their surrounding environment. Their closest circles include their parents and rabbis, while their broader circles include public figures from Judea and Samaria — and their outermost circles, politicians representing right-wing parties.
Anyone in those circles who has already dissociated himself from the campaign against the Shin Bet and expressed disgust in response to the “hate wedding” did the right thing. Anyone who hasn’t done that yet should. The condemnation should come from every possible group the right. Anyone who ignores the violence, stammers a weak response or makes light of these acts legitimizes Jewish terrorism and the assault on the rule of law.

The “hate wedding” video should be a wake-up call to the leaders of the religious Zionist movement and the Yesha Council. It is time for them to take responsibility for the evil that is sprouting in their backyard.

Sarah Ann Rokosz and James Michael Donovan wedding

Sarah Ann Rokosz and James Michael Donovan were united in marriage on June 27, 2015 at Corpus Christi Parish, W. Pittston, surrounded by family and friends. Monsignor John Sempa officiated the ceremony with music done by organist David Tighe and violinst Mark Woodyatt.
The bride is the daughter of Walter and Deborahann Rokosz, Wyoming. She is the granddaughter of the late Charles and Helen Rokosz, Plymouth, and the late Robert and Frances Park, Wilkes-Barre.
Sarah is a 2002 graduate of Wyoming Area and a 2005 graduate of Luzerne County Community College where she earned an Associates of Science degree in business management. She is a 2008 graduate of The Pennsylvania State University, where she earned a Bachelor of Science degree in business management/marketing. Sarah is employed by Mohegan Sun Pocono.
The groom is the son of James and Theresa Donovan, Oswego, New York. He is the grandson of the late John and Mary Ann Bartholomew, Oswego, New York, and the late Francis and Mary Donovan, Oswego, New York.
James is a 1999 graduate of Oswego High School, Oswego, New York. He attended Oswego State University. He is employed as a supervisor at Mohegan Sun Pocono.
The bride was escorted down the aisle and given away by her father. She chose her friends Jami Koch as matron of honor and Laura Harding as maid of honor. Bridesmaids were Kristen Martin, friend of the bride and Ellen Hayes, sister of the groom. Junior bridesmaids were Lyla and Claudia Rehill, Ainsley Flynn and Adelay Seidel, all cousins of the bride. The flower girl was Delaney Flynn, cousin of the bride.
The groom chose his best friend, Patrick Tobin, as best man. Groomsmen included Daniel Armellino, friend of the groom; Patrick Donovan, cousin of the groom; and Shawn Hayes, brother-in-law of the groom. Ring bearers were Jackson and Jordan Medrano.
Scriptural readings were given by Clare Donovan, cousin of the groom, and Kylie Cox, cousin of the bride. Offertory gifts were presented by Karin Kamor and John Rokosz, godparents of the bride and Nancy Knight, godmother of the groom and Peter Donovan, uncle of the groom.
A bridal shower brunch was hosted by the mother of the bride at Coopers Seafood Waterfront, Pittston. A rehearsal dinner was given by the parents of the groom at Nonno’s Pizza & Restaurant, Moosic. An evening cocktail hour and reception were held at the Via Appia, Taylor.

The couple honeymooned at the Atlantis Paradise Island in the Bahamas. They reside in Wyoming with their two dogs JJ and Bella.

Wedding dresses become burial gowns for babies in the Valley

On a quiet street in a senior living development in northeast Fresno, three women in their 80s are hard at work making burial gowns for the youngest and smallest among us.
The dresses are given to Hinds Hospice, which distributes them to grieving families for children who are born premature or medically fragile and die shortly after birth, or for those who had a stillborn baby.
A lot of love is poured into these delicate creations – by the volunteer seamstresses and those donating the fabric. The burial gowns were once wedding, bridesmaid and quinceañera dresses.
Merry Derrick, Peggie Morgan and Antonia Rhodes, along with Rhodes’ daughter, Becky Rowe, have made more than 200 of these small dresses since they started their work a few months ago.
Rowe gets chills collecting donated wedding dresses.
“Tears would stream down my face,” Rowe says. “I got so emotional every time – and I still do, every time. I just felt God was calling me to do something good for someone.”
the same without knowing who would receive their gifts. Then Morgan learned women with the Athena Philoptochos Society of St. George Greek Orthodox Church were also making these dresses and donating them to the Hinds Hospice Angel Babies program, which serves families in Fresno, Madera and Merced counties.
The women joined forces and, collectively, have made more than 425 infant gowns for the program. They also make cloth diapers and envelopes that can be used to hold hospital paperwork and death certificates, and knit baby blankets and caps – many just the size of a lemon or egg. Rhodes knit 250 of these hats in three weeks.
Every piece is a unique and beautiful creation. Derrick, a retired potter, likes to paint things like teddy bears and animals on many of the dresses. Morgan recently made a boy’s gown that has a vest adorned with tiny military medals.
The first delivery to Hinds Hospice was in March. Angel Babies helps around 35 families a month, says its program director Kathy Cromwell. Since Angel Babies began in 2001, it’s helped grieving families cope with the deaths of around 3,800 babies.
Hinds Hospice stresses the importance of providing “dignity at the end of life,” Cromwell says, and the handmade burial dresses help with that. It’s important that the babies “get to wear something that’s so beautiful, because they are so beautiful.”
Elaine Sotiropulos with St. George also got the idea for making gowns from the story of the Texas volunteers.
“A wedding gown is such a symbol of beauty, and to take something that is used in one way and is beautiful and to repurpose it into another beautiful use … the giver receives a lot of that warmth and love,” Sotiropulos says. “It’s different than just buying fabric.”
Amber Sweilem, 23, of Fresno donated her dress shortly after her July wedding.
“Since I was a little girl I dreamed of my wedding – especially my wedding dress. But after my wedding, I wasn’t going to need it anymore. I know a lot of people have them dry-cleaned and put in boxes and hung on walls, but that just never seemed like an option to me. I’d rather something that meant so much to me go toward a good cause, and I couldn’t think of anything better.”
Typically, around 15 burial gowns can be made from each wedding dress, but one recently yielded enough material to make 35.
Morgan received one wedding dress that belonged to a woman who was married in 1945. She died recently in a center for people with Alzheimer’s disease. Her daughter found the dress while cleaning out her mother’s apartment.
“This is made just from lace, most of it disintegrated, but I was able to salvage this,” Morgan says, holding up a burial gown at Rhodes’ home.
She shared a photo of the dress with the daughter.
“She wept and wept and wept. Her mother had 10 miscarriages before she was born and she said, ‘One of my siblings could have worn this.’ So, that’s why I do it.”
The gowns also save grieving families from shopping for a dead child, says Cindi Boukidis with St. George.
“It’s not easy to bury a child, and the last thing you want to do is go shopping for something when you can’t find something this size – and you don’t want some doll dress.”
The Angel Babies gowns are special because they are “lovingly and prayerfully made,” Boukidis says.
Sweilem agrees.
“Being a newlywed, having children someday is something me and my husband both look forward to, and I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be one of those mothers who had lost their child. … I just hope it brings them a sense of closure.
“Nothing of course can ever fill that hole that I’m sure they feel from losing a child, but at least knowing that their baby was clothed in something that was made out of love … maybe it would bring them some sense of relief.”

Radical Right-Wing Wedding Video Condemned

Guests are seen dancing with guns and knives, and even stabbing a picture of murdered Palestinian baby, in wedding video.
A video aired on Wednesday documented a radical right-wing couple’s wedding in which guests danced with guns, knives, and Molotov cocktails. At one point, a reveler is seen repeatedly stabbing a picture of the infant Ali Dawabsheh, who died in a fire suspected to have been a terror attack committed by radical right Jews.
The youths seen in the video were said to be familiar with the suspects being questioned in connection with the murders of three members of the Dawabsheh family, including baby Ali and his two parents.
It was screened in full for right-wing activists in Defense Minister Moshe Ya’alon’s office.
The Defense Ministry declined to comment on the video, merely noting that it reaffirms Ya’alon’s condemnation on Tuesday of incitement against the Shin Bet, which is questioning the suspects.
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, meanwhile, did issue a condemnation of the video, saying, “The shocking pictures that were broadcast this evening show the true face of a group that constitutes a danger to Israeli society and to the security of Israel. We are not prepared to accept people who deny the laws of the state and do not view themselves as subject to them. The pictures underscore how important a strong Shin Bet is to the security of us all.”
Sources who saw the complete video reported that it becomes even more disturbing.
Some on the right called for people to distance themselves from those in the video following its release.
“We were stunned for a few minutes,” said Yesha Council Chairman Avi Roeh, who viewed the video in Ya’alon’s office. “There were parts that I couldn’t watch. It’s shocking. We couldn’t believe there are such radical youths. This is a group that doesn’t belong to anything, and certainly not to us. What I was afraid of is occurring – we are being forced into a defensive position, even though I feel that we don’t have to defend ourselves. There will always be a few politicians who will try to goad us. These things don’t happen in our neighborhood.”
The bride and groom in the video are well-known among the radical right. The video and other materials from the wedding have been given to Judea and Samaria District Police ahead of a planned investigation.
“Such acts are not the way of Judaism,” said Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi David Lau. “It’s a rejection and repudiation of the values of the Jewish people, of the Jewish Torah, and of the uniqueness of the Jewish people. Parents and educators must take it upon themselves, along with law enforcement, to do everything possible to prevent such horrifying identification with acts of terror and appalling murder.”
Meanwhile, questioning of the suspects in the Dawabsheh murders has continued.

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What I Would Change About My Wedding: A Wedding Planner's Perspective

Yup that's me, in all my '90s bridal glory. This year would have marked my seventeenth wedding anniversary. Regardless of the fact that I am no longer married (we divorced seven years ago), my wedding day still holds fond memories for me. In all the drama that was my divorce -- and there was a lot of it -- I wouldn't trade my wedding day for the world. I have great memories of fun with my family and friends, photos of my daughter in the cutest flower girl dress, and cherished memories of my father who is no longer with us. Looking back now I wish I'd had looked at it for what it was -- a chance to create memories and not been, dare I say, such a "Bridezilla." Even if the marriage didn't last, I still wish I could look back on the day and feel like I had appreciated these memories as they were being made, instead of focusing on all the small, unimportant details. The saying, "Had I known then what I know now" is very relevant to me. Being a wedding planner, sure there are a few details I would change about the décor and my '90s style wedding dress, but a few key changes would have made a huge difference on the wedding day itself.
I would have delegated more.
I'm a wedding planner -- also lovingly known as "a control freak" by most of my family. I was a wedding planner in the making in 1998 -- not a professional wedding planner yet, but still possessed the trait that makes it difficult for me to give up control. My big DIY project for my wedding was my wedding favors. I bought these cute little terra cotta pots and filled them with wax to make candles. Long story short, my easy DIY project turned into a tedious time consuming pain in the ass. And like any bride, I left finishing my DIY project to the last minute. I remember leaving for my nail appointment the day before the wedding, only to come home to find that a few of my bridesmaids had graciously finished them all for me. I quickly examined all of them to make sure they did them correctly, and sure enough, they were done perfectly! I wish I had just asked for their help in the first place instead of trying to do it all on my own and wasting so much time on such a small detail.
I would have had my parents say a speech.
This is one of my biggest regrets. My favorite part of the hundreds of weddings I've planned is the emotional speeches from the parents, and I am sad that I didn't get to experience that with my mom and dad. Despite the fact that I am no longer married, this would have been something I definitely would like to rewatch on my wedding video. At the time, there was a bit of tension with my in-laws, and I chose not to have any parents speak at the wedding to avoid any drama. Silly me! There may have been tension, but I am sure they would have only said loving things about their son in their speech. I regret letting petty differences affect the memories I could be cherishing today.
I would have had less bridesmaids.
Let's face it, there are friends that you have that you just aren't going to be friends with in ten or twenty years from now. I had five bridesmaids -- my best friend as my maid of honor, my cousin and my sister, as well as my ex-husband's cousin and a girl I was friends with at the time of my wedding. I obviously don't see my ex-husband's cousin anymore, and I haven't talked to that one friend in over ten years. Choose wisely, even if you have a lot of close friends and are feeling pressured to have all of them in the wedding party. A small wedding party is more manageable and carries a lot less drama!
I would have had an unplugged wedding.
Ok, so we didn't have iPhones in 1998, but people still had cameras, and at times I felt like I was being harassed by the paparazzi! Being pulled away from special moments to turn towards guest's cameras to pose, instead of being able to soak it all in. Take my advice -- going unplugged not only allows you to be in the moment, but lets your guests enjoy every detail as well, instead of seeing it all through the lens of a camera.
I would have invited kids.
Gasp! This is one of the biggest issues for some couples, and while I always tell my brides that this is their wedding and no matter what, guests should just show up and shut up, looking back I think I should have made a different decision on this. We wanted my daughter and Godson to be the only kids at the wedding, as they were the flower girl and ring bearer. But looking back, was it really such a big deal? Despite the fact that my ex-mother-in-law told her family to bring their kids even if it stated otherwise on the invitations (see point #2), I wish I would have just invited the kids. Sure there would have been a few more rugrats running around, but would it have been the worst thing? Sometimes you have to pick your battles, and this would have just saved a lot of drama. Look at it with perspective and take the high road for the sake of your sanity. Sometimes these things become more about a power struggle and getting your own way than what's best in the long run.

So my advice, from a wedding planner and past bride -- plan your wedding with memories in mind. Don't let little issues and problems be what you remember of your day. That is what a wedding day is all about isn't it? Creating memories. Your memories of the day will last forever, make sure they are good ones.

Dream wedding donated to breast cancer survivor and husband

When Britta and Chris Sieggen met in 1999, they knew. They knew from their shared language of movie quotes and Beatles lyrics. They knew from their mutual love for trying new things — foods and adventures.
“There was something about Chris,” Britta said. “I felt like he was almost a soul mate right off the bat, like I had known him for such a long time.”
Getting engaged that November, three months after meeting, felt natural and not at all rushed.
“I felt like I had the whole package right there,” Britta said, “so I wasn’t going to let him go, that’s for sure.”
Months later, in February 2000, everything changed.
“It’s the time of your life, you’ve just gotten engaged, and life throws a little curveball at you,” Britta said.
Britta was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was 34 — the same age her mother had been when she received what would become a fatal diagnosis.
“My mom passed away from breast cancer when I was 11, so I was always very much aware of the probability or possibility of me getting breast cancer, and so were my doctors,” she said.
Chris and Britta decided to go forward with the wedding, even though it meant Britta would be in the middle of treatment on their special day.
“I wasn’t going to let (cancer) ruin or beat the best thing I had going in my life, and that was Chris,” Britta said.
Chris and Britta were married in a simple ceremony at Chris’ childhood church on Oct. 21, 2000.
“He won’t take a lot of credit for it, but he basically planned our whole wedding,” Britta said. “He stepped up and knew I wanted to do this.”
Chris was a University of Kansas undergrad at the time, but he did what he needed to plan a wedding and keep up with school work.
“I felt like no matter how difficult this part of life was going to be for me, it’s completely, totally a minuscule percentage of the hell that she was going to go through,” he said. “I might have been stressed and freaked out, but I wasn’t staring death in the face either.”
After the wedding, Britta completed treatment and eventually got a clean bill of health. Nearly 15 years passed.
Then in July 2014, Britta found a lump. She had breast cancer again.
And another crisis struck: Chris lost his job when the church where he worked closed.
“We were just trying to follow God and serve God, and then to lose a job, and — in the middle of me trying to find work — she is diagnosed with cancer a second time,” Chris said. “You’re just like, ‘What?!’
“It was one of those hard, honest, bang-your-fist-on-the-chest-of-God moments,” he said.
Again, Britta soldiered through treatment.
“I made a decision without batting an eye that I was going to get a double mastectomy,” she said.
Three months after her mastectomy and chemotherapy (which, she’s happy to report, has improved drastically in the past 15 years), the news was good.
It was then that Britta’s good friend and neighbor, Christine Darden, unveiled the plan she’d been secretly working on for months.
Darden owns Celebrations of Love, a Kansas City wedding and event planning business. She knew Britta and Chris wanted to celebrate their 15-year wedding anniversary in a big way — in a “big ball of wow,” Chris said.
Britta remembers Darden coming to her with the news that she was using all of her wedding vendors to gift the Sieggens a dream vow-renewal ceremony and reception.
“I still get goosebumps,” Britta said. “I feel so humbled and grateful that so many people gave of their time and their money for us.
“That means money and time away from their families,” she said. “That’s what blows me away about it all. I get really teary-eyed. All these people had never even met me.
Donations for the vow renewal totaled about $14,000 in goods and services.
“It really gives you hope,” she said. “People don’t even meet you, and they want to give because they can. It’s amazing.”
The Sieggens renewed their vows Oct. 17, almost 15 years to the day of their wedding.

How to Plan an Interfaith Wedding

Religion is a very personal thing. There's no requirement that two people who fall in love with one another have to share the same religious beliefs. In fact, interfaith marriages are actually quite common now. Although politicians preaching a return to "family values" often talk about how families are stronger when they go to church together in their community, the truth of the matter is that the vast majority of brides and grooms choose their mate for qualities other than their religion.
For many interfaith marriages, religion is irrelevant until they have children and have to decide if they're going to have a baptism or a bris, or neither. Although Jewish law, for example, actually dictates that in the case of interfaith marriages, the children resulting from the marriage should follow the faith of the mother (even if she's not Jewish), most parents today choose to raise their children in the faith that is most comfortable and convenient for them, not what is dictated by the rules of any particular religion.
Don't get me wrong -- I have plenty of friends who have very strong faith, and are active in their churches and would NEVER have considered marrying someone who didn't believe in Jesus Christ, or the Book of Mormon or whatever their particular religion embraces. With that said, very few brides and grooms who would qualify themselves as "religious" actually choose to have destination weddings (my specialty) because they want to get married in their home church. Their church family is very important to them and their wedding day would be incomplete if they weren't married where they regularly worship, surrounded by their church family.
It used to be the case that if one half of a couple was deeply entrenched in their own religion (use Catholicism or Judaism as an example here) and their significant other was not, the partner would join the fiancé's church or temple and begin religious education classes to become a member of that faith. This dates back to a time when, in some cases, a person couldn't marry outside their faith and continue to be a part of their own religious community. As times have changed and traditions have relaxed, more religious entities have become more tolerant, and found ways to permit interfaith unions for their members. But still, that isn't true of all religions.
Destination wedding ceremonies are usually performed by non-denominational officiants who can perform any wedding ceremony they're given. I advise my clients to plan a ceremony that incorporates aspects of their own religions, if that's important to them. I've seen plenty of interfaith weddings where there were prayers mentioning Jesus through the ceremony, and then ended with the groom doing the traditional Jewish stomping on the glass as everyone cheered "Mazel Tov!" It doesn't even seem unusual to me anymore.
It is possible to have a mixture of religious traditions at the same wedding ceremony and reception, without having to label the wedding any specific faith. We see a lot of that -- and it's very interesting to watch how brides and grooms choose to incorporate the things that are important to them. Sometimes the only thing Jewish about a wedding, for example, is the glass breaking and traditional Horah dance at the reception. There might not be a yarmulke on site, and pork and shellfish may be featured on the wedding menu (along with other options for those who do observe dietary restrictions).
In one case, we did two completely separate wedding ceremonies -- one right after the other -- because the bride was Persian and her parents insisted they do the traditional ceremony where they taste a bunch of significant items and release doves at the end. The ceremony wasn't in English, and the groom hadn't the slightest idea what was going on, but he didn't care about that because he and the bride had exchanged vows in a traditional American-style wedding ceremony 15 minutes earlier. It was time-consuming, to be sure, but I thought it was a really lovely way to incorporate traditions that were critically important to the bride's parents who were, in this case, picking up the entire wedding tab.
For the reception, the menu was split pretty much in half with traditional Persian delicacies I'd never heard of, and that our caterers had to research carefully and import all kinds of unusual ingredients not commonly found in every grocery store to make, and more common foods that everybody else was sure to be familiar with. The guests loved it! And none of the parents involved felt shortchanged because all of their traditions from both sides had been honored.
Let me be clear -- totally mixing religious traditions and observances isn't just a destination wedding phenomenon -- I've attended multiple weddings at synagogues stateside, followed by receptions at Jewish country clubs where there was a fantastic raw bar during the cocktail hour. It all depends on whether the couples' families and the wedding venue are conservative or reformed, and which rules they insist on observing.
What I think is MOST IMPORTANT is that brides and grooms are celebrating their weddings in the manner that they choose, including God (or whomever they worship) as much or as little as they wish in their wedding ceremony. I strongly believe that decision should be based entirely on the wishes and feelings of the wedding couple themselves, not the desires of their families. And that's when things get tricky.
Many interfaith couples choose to get married away from home for the sole purpose of avoiding the battle over whether the wedding will be held in their family's church or synagogue. They spend a lot of time and money creating beautiful wedding weekends that reflect their own personal taste and style. They include religious traditions that mean something to them, and they skip the ones that don't. And sometimes, that gets touchy on the actual wedding day if everybody attending the wedding has their own opinions. It gets even more complicated (and sometimes emotional) when the bride and groom haven't warned their parents that they will not be celebrating their wedding in the religious tradition in which they were raised.
Several years ago, I planned a Wiccan wedding for a bride and groom who had been raised Jewish and Catholic, respectively. The groom's parents were not in attendance because they objected to their son's lifestyle choices, most specifically the fact that he'd left the Catholic Church to become a witch. The bride's family was present and accounted for, but they didn't know!!! In fact, the mother of the bride didn't find out the celebrant was a Wiccan priest until she asked me where the rabbi was at the wedding rehearsal. Truly, that was the definition of awkward.
I have to give the bride's elderly parents a lot of credit for keeping their composure, and not making any sort of stink, when they found out that instead of getting married under a traditional chuppah, we would be "casting a circle" and "calling the elements" and smudging all their 80-year-old friends from Cherry Hill, New Jersey, with sage. Because that is definitely something you see at every wedding, right? Not.
It occurred to me later that the bride had ambushed her parents intentionally to avoid fighting about it, but I still don't think it was the right approach. While the bride and groom certainly have every right to exchange vows in whatever manner they choose, if the wedding is going to be something REALLY different from what the parents are expecting, it's a good idea to let them know before they create their own guest lists. That was the one thing the Wiccan bride's mother said that really got my attention: "I wish I'd known before I invited everyone from my neighborhood." Oops.
Whether they celebrate a specific religion or are just spiritual, what's most important is that the bride and groom have the option of being as religious -- or as secular -- as they wish for the wedding celebration. The decision to include specific religious observances and traditions should be solely that of the couple, and not overly influenced by their families or other outsiders.
A final thought on this matter: Make sure your wedding planner, officiant and/or Master of Ceremonies is aware of what exactly you want (and don't want) at your wedding ceremony and reception. Sometimes, well-intentioned wedding guests will request specific dances (like the Horah for a Jewish wedding) because they simply expect the couple will want to do it, never thinking that an interfaith couple may have intentionally decided to skip that tradition. The best bet for avoiding any conflict around religion-based traditions is to make sure the people in charge of running the wedding know what the bride and groom's wishes are, so they can head off any potential problems.

Good luck and happy wedding planning from Sandy Malone Weddings and Events!

The choreographed big fat Indian wedding

In the new improved Indian wedding, everybody, not just the bride and groom, get married. Or so it seems. Everyone and everything look as if they are snorting the white powdery stuff, as revelry takes on a psychedelic and manic air. The scale at which the event is pitched has gone haywire, and it seems that nothing can be excessive enough. And while this new and very passionate relationship with weddings is part of a larger involvement with the world of consumption, there is something about weddings that stands apart from everything else.
In earlier times, marriages happened to families. The marriage was an institution with set conventions and rules, to which families conformed. The event was culturally fraught and the overall feeling was one of responsibility and more than a little dread, as things perpetually teetered on the brink of going wrong. The bride and groom were the victims of the ceremony, and by no means the protagonists. They had little to do with the arrangements and had little or no control over their own actions. They wore strange clothes, were given constant instructions that they did not understand but followed, and looked dazed and awkward through it all.
The marriage was, as it is now, a pivotal institution. It was the most prominent site of tradition, where the past gathered itself to anxiously usher in a future. The baton was passed to the next generation in an atmosphere of tight control. The ‘boy’ and the ‘girl’ were not fully realized individuals but fragments of the family tree, twigs lacking any independent existence. The wedding script was written elsewhere, in a different time; the families concerned had to faithfully perform their roles out of a time tested screenplay. Cultural differences of even a small kind needed to be skillfully negotiated, for deviations from tradition produced anxiety, and the fear of nameless consequences.
Things have certainly changed. Weddings are now meant to be pleasurable, and not burdensome. The numbers of events in each wedding keeps growing, as does the significance imbued in each element of the wedding. Every bit of the wedding is now a little monument, to be referred to only in capitals — and the most striking change in the wedding is the introduction of the idea of choreography. Things cannot simply be arranged — they need to be choreographed.
The imagination is cinematic — and Bollywood is everywhere. The venue is a set, and each area a visual frame that reeks of some ‘theme’. The idea of ‘themes’ is an attempt to superimpose another text on to the wedding; the wedding itself is emptied out of meaning, what it provided is an excuse and a framework for an invented meaning to get pasted on. The inherited meaning of the wedding is deemed insufficient, providing an excuse for scale but lacking content which is filled in with the help of themes. The wedding becomes a canvas on which the individuals concerned paint on a more specific shade of meaning, chosen most often out of a pre-existing template of possibilities provided by the thriving institution of the wedding planner. The idea of an external agency, who puts together the wedding underlines the fact the wedding is now an ‘event’, to be conceived of and managed as a piece of entertainment. Every item in the wedding thus points outwards — how will it look, will it engage, will it photograph well and outshine other efforts mounted by one’s peers?
The food is an array of choices that emphasizes ‘variety’ and ‘novelty’ — the desire for anchorage is long gone and what is sought today is transportation. To the outer realms of one’s imagination, using the exotic, the vividly coloured and variously textured items on the exhaustive menu. For once, it is not taste that is paramount; wedding food gives one an opportunities to experience the exciting possibilities that lie ‘out there’.
Perhaps the most dramatic shift is in the role of the lead pair, who now take their place center-stage without a trace of shyness. The wedding is now about them; they are no longer empty vessels through which the river of continuity made its way. They sing, dance, coo appreciatively to each other, they act out a scripted romance, record every moment of these days against exotic backgrounds and change costumes every few hours.
The wedding today is truly a junction — it is here that the accumulated past accommodates a more specific and distinctive future, where the collective becomes the backdrop against which the individual gets highlighted, where notions of specialness are carved out of the reality of ordinariness and the exotic is contrived from the everyday, where families still come together not so much in memory as in celebration. As a cultural encounter, it produces a lower level of anxiety as the stakes have reduced on both sides. The adjustment required post-marriage has more to do with individual compatibility than a meshing together of two ways of life. More than a cultural no-man’s-land, it is now a performance arena, for both sides to put their best foot forward, often literally.

The wedding has become the overloaded-with-excess institution it has because it is able to advertise all that is valued today simultaneously and in the desired proportions. The continued importance of the family, the wealth and stature that has been accumulated, the emergence of individuals with their own notions and taste, the desire to enact fantasies of grandiloquence, the kind of guests one can command, all of these come together at the wedding. For a brief while, we get to feature in our own Bollywood film. We egest everything we have seen, imagined or consumed, by arraying it around our choreographed splendid selfs. The wedding is a public screening of private fantasy, with every element amplified. In its craving for specialness, it tells that the greatest curse of our times is ordinariness and the biggest fear is to lead a life that does not need to be obsessively photographed.

http://diugdale.naganoblog.jp/e1836316.html

If traditional wedding photography gives you a case of the yawns, consider taking your big day portraits to new heights by posing on the side of a cliff.
Jay Philbrick and his wife Vicki, of Philbrick Photography in North Conway, New Hampshire, specialize in portraits of people perched 350 feet above the Mount Washington Valley floor.
Prior to starting his photography business, Philbrick was a full-time climbing guide from 1994 to 2004 and a U.S. Air Force pilot before that for 14 years. With that kind of resume, it would be easy to assume that Philbrick has always felt comfortable high up in the air, but that’s not necessarily true.
“Let’s just say I have a healthy respect for heights,” he told The Huffington Post. “I don't run around a cliff without a fear in the world and I still get little butterflies for sure."
It was only a matter of time before he merged his passion for climbing with his craft.
“In my photography I had always been attracted to the contrast of a beautiful subject in a stark or unlikely location,” Philbrick said. “And the cliff ledges I had in mind [from guiding] seemed perfect for this.”
In 2008, four years after starting his photography business, Philbrick finally got the chance to try out his idea when a couple that were climbers hired him to cover their wedding.
“I asked them if they were up for it and they were,” he said.
To date, no other client has actually had climbing experience. Philbrick claims that even without having climbed before, the shoot is completely safe.
“In fact, we are all probably at greater risk driving to and from the session than we are when cliffside,” he said. “The only issue we have really had has been with the weather, and unfortunately, we don't have much control over that.”
For each shoot, Philbrick works with a trained and certified mountain guide named Marc Chauvin. On the day of the session, Philbrick and Chauvin wake up as early as 3:30 a.m. to build “anchors and raising and lowering systems we'll need for the couple, myself and Marc.”
Once Philbrick, his wife Vicki, Chauvin, and an assistant are on site, the bride and groom are lowered one at a time and tied into a hidden anchor on the ledge. When the couple is in place, Philbrick directs them into different poses while hanging off the side of the cliff secured in his own gear.
“I am sometimes to the side, right above, or even on the same ledge with them,” he said.
While he shoots, Vicki and their assistant also snap shots, getting pictures from different locations and angles. The sessions usually last about 90 minutes and are typically completed an hour or two after sunrise.
Philbrick says that there is barely any retouching involved in the editing process.

“There is no Photoshop whenever possible,” Philbrick adds. “Sometimes something sticks out a little due to an oversight and I remove it in post, but I try really hard to just have all the safety gear hidden.”